Very upset family members

My spouse's family had a member of their family pass away recently and some of his belongings were left on his truck. One item in particular was very important to the family. One of the deceased's family members contacted the company in order to obtain the items that were left on the truck and was told to have an attorney send them a letter in the mail (they did not want it faxed) so the items could be released to the family member because they were led to believe the deceased's girlfriend was actually his spouse.

The family member had his attorney send the necessary letter and waited to hear back from the guy at the company. This same family member just contacted the company today only to be told the same guy that he talked to before let the girlfriend take all of the items off of the truck last week, without asking her for any proof of being the spouse (she isn't) and after they knew the family wanted the items from the truck and had their attorney send out a letter.

Everybody is very upset, understandably so, and have already been through enough between their loss of a loved one and everything else that has been going on because of this woman and then they have their deceased family member's employer kick them while they're already down and in mourning.

I don't know if this was the place to talk about this, but I'm just very upset and needed somewhere, anywhere, to vent!

Comments for Very upset family members

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Sep 30, 2015
by: Anonymous

You came to the right place to vent. I believe that you also helped out a lot of people to become aware of what might arise when one of their loved ones pass away while on the road or what ever the situation may be.

Myself I think it is wise to have all ducks in order just for this type of life changing event.

I had this same exact talk with my trucker husband today via phone conversation. We both have no responsibilities except for ourselves and we both like nice things! Wow! tThen my adult son took ill over the week. I had to cover myself at work, get to where he is and make sure he is safe, get myself back to work, and spent quite a few hundred dollars to make it all work out. Travel, hotel rooms, eating healthy on the road is expensive.

The emotional turmoil one goes through while trying to make it work is something else. I had to ask myself are all these nice things gonna really matter when we drop off the earth? My Trucker agrees it wont. We are going to slow down now cause we are older (healthy older), and we need to think about where our money should really be going into nice things or into an account for a bigger cushion just in case.

Thank you for this reality post! Thank you Hervy for your sound advise.

To the poster material things even if they are valuable to our memories, we still have the memory even if it isn't tangible any more. God Bless your family and keep you healthy in mind, body and soul!

Sep 30, 2015
Unfortunate Circumstances Has No Names
by: Hervy

I can definitely see how you and the family would be upset. It is a sad situation to endure. The reality is that the guy cause this by leading the company to believe what they believe.

I understand that people at the company could have asked for proof. I am pretty sure though, he/they felt like they were doing the right thing and in their minds not unnecessarily causing more grief by giving the wife a hard time. Obviously I am just guessing but I am looking at it from their perspective.

That was more likely how it happened rather than they intentionally did it trying to cause more pain to the family.

As far as the legal implication of the situation I have no idea of what can be done. I really hate these types of situations because it is delicate for the people involved and the person to talk about who is not directly impacted.

Here is what they family has to do though, pause for a minute and really look at the big picture.

Ask these or similar questions...

What story had the company been given about the drivers situation?

Did the driver know he was going to pass away and these problems would come about? (Not likely)

Did the company intentionally try to hurt the family more? (Not likely)

Did the woman know about the wife?

and...If you really want to be truthful about the situation....the toughest reality....Who set this up to happened in the first place not on purpose but due to choices made?

The point when we are most vulnerable and emotional we have to be mindful enough to remain rational in our thinking. Emotions can easily keep us from looking at the situation in the right way.

The other point is of course made by the (truthful) answers to the questions. As far as I can tell this is unfortunate and sad but hard to point fingers with 100% blame. A series of events occurred that shouldn't have. It happened to cause a lot of pain and even further loss.

I am sorry for the family. Try to help them not feel like a victim. I would see if they have the ladies name, if they can contact her and calmly try to explain the situation. If that didn't work, I would go the lawyer route depending if what was taking was worth it to the family.

Best wishes

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