Very tired mother of 3, per diem issues, and exhaustion...
(Strawberry plains, tn)
So we are not married, but have been together a couple years now, I have 2 boys from previous relationships, and now we have a beautiful baby girl together.
My guy started trucking to be able to financially support us, and it's been a tough road. He also has a child from a previous relationship with child support set sky high for one child... (Boy wouldn't life be easier if mine were set like that, and their fathers actually paid... Lol, ok, ok neither here nor there..moving on).
So, my wonderful night in shining armour decided to become a professional driver to help with our financial situation, a flat bed driver he became. wanting me to be a stay at home mom, deciding that things may be tight as times, but we should make it. Boy were we in for a loop....
First of all.. Has anyone else had issues with per diems? This company puts the per diem on his check. Then, they deduct it right back off, it shows as gross income, but we never actual see the money?? Is this right??
The hours as a trucker, well for lack of better terms, they suck! But I love him, I have been trying to be supportive. He has gotten frustrated the last few nights with me and it seems to be a more common problem these days... He parks for the night between 10 and midnight usually.
By time I get the kids to bed and baby bumpkin to sleep... I'm exhausted and will fall asleep shortly after he starts texting me. I am so exhausted though, my baby goes to bed between 9 and 10 pm then is up around 3:30am and then 5:30am or 6am for the day.
I try to stay up to talk to him, but sometimes I fall asleep shortly after that first text. It's like my brain says " oh good. He's safe and sound for the night! I can sleep now..." But I don't want him upset, or hurt because I fell asleep. And he does get so angry when this happens.. *sigh* any suggestions for this out there?
He is gone Monday through Friday, we have ups and downs like most couple in the industry. The kids miss him, I miss him. We have car issues, I need a iob, can't afford to fix the car, he's not home to fix the car.
I'm generally stuck at home alllll the time with 3 kids having to depend on rides to the dr. Appointments, to the store, we are barely making enough money to feed the kids at this point. His child support is more than our rent payment which is over $600 just saying.... Something has to give some where right??
Sorry. It feels so good to get this all out there...
We do have good times, we enjoy his weekends home, if you can call them that, time home ranges from 12 to 48 hours ( 48 hours has happened 1 time.. Lol), usually more like 12 to 24 hours home.
He is an amazing father and tries to restore order to the house when he is here. I know being over the road takes its toll on him mentally and physically.
The look on our Daughters face when she realizes daddy is home is amazing, she lights up, the boys miss him and ask when he is coming home now.
As much as a pain and as hard as its been, it has honestly also brought us closer as a family. We do talk more as a couple, about everything. About the kids, his day, my day, this issues in the house, the bills, I send pictures and try to keep him included in the exciting events of the week, videos of adorable moments with the baby, of kids concerts, Facebook and other social networks Ryan are wonderful for helping with these moments as well.
Through it all, even though it may not always be perfect or ideal, we stick by each others sides, we have had some reeeealllly hard times starting out, ladies, it's not easy by any means we have been through a lot!
No heat for weeks.
Working his butt off And barely clearing $100 a week for our bills.
Home time that is hardly worth calling that.
Behavioral issues with the kids due to the changes.
But, it is worth it, he strongly believes this is the answer, and things will get better. I love him, and I believe in him. We can only hope for and pray for the best. It is a struggle, I worry about him everyday, and count down the moments until he is home. But he is the love of my life and I support him. Sometimes, we just need a little help along the way..