Trucking ruined my relationship

by Lucy
(Califormia)

Not seeing eye to eye

Not seeing eye to eye

My fiancée has been a trucker for a little over a year. When he first decided to go to trucking school I supported him, since I thought he would be doing local.

To my surprise he decided to do OTR and since then our relationship has gone to sh*t. In the beginning I would stay up to be able to talk to him while he drove.

After our daughter was born my focused turned to her and the phone calls became less frequent. He wouldn't try to hold conversations or he was either busy eating, checking in or scaling. Eventually I got tired of it and now I just see him as my child's father.

I've gotten so used to being alone and a single mother that when he is on home time he pisses me off when he even tries to tell me what to do.

To top it all off he's gained so much weight that I can't even see him anymore. It's so unattractive that I won't even have sex with him.

When we first got together I would love holding his hand and now it's just embarrassing, I've even considered cheating on him since he doesn't understand that I'm done with him.

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Oct 14, 2016
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The thrush NEW
by: Anonymous

Yeah, I might be shallow but at least I've always been honest and truthful to him. I've told him that the relationship has been has been over for months now. He knows that because he treated me like shit and belittled me when I was carrying his child ended the relationship, a woman could only take so much before she breaks and he did that to me. I got tired of having to beg for sex, tired of disrespecting me infront of his friends by talking about his sexual past and how good the sex was. Specially when he threatens to beat me because I'm too tired to drive and he got drunk. Yeah I might be shallow but at least I know that respect and love is earned not given.

Oct 14, 2016
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Shallow NEW
by: Anonymous

You are a shallow piece of crap that hasn't got a clue. He is better off without YOU.

Jul 06, 2016
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Well said Tammie NEW
by: Anonymous

Sometimes all someone needs is a new perspective

Jun 29, 2016
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Tammiethetrucker NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm a female trucker and I have to tell you. from a woman's point of view and trucker, you are having a couple valid feelings. Women are different than men when it comes to relationships. Attraction is huge for us and it's tough trying to make ourselves open up to be with someone that iwe "aren't feeling it for." On the other hand as a trucker I feel for him too. This job sucks from this point of view. We have to eat crap food, no exercise for days on end, and the loneliness is overwhelming. We spend hours fighting fatigue and being bored. It doesn't sound that bad but we are literally kinda put in solitary confinement. If we call anyone, depending on the area we are in, we usually drop service, or fighting bad traffic, not to mention if we are running short runs the scaling and loading and unloading are so frequent and takes so long it's easier just not to call out of frustration for not being able to talk or hold a full conversation. I'm sure he is feeling bad about himself too. The weight gain while driving is terrible. I gained 60 pounds in the first few years. It's easy to sit back and look at a trucker and think how awful they look. But in our defense one of the reasons we eat is simply to stay awake. Nibbling on something does wonders for you when fighting trying to keep your eyes open. I have lost 40 pounds lately because I refuse to put any food in my truck with me. If I eat I get salads. As far as relationships go, well I don't have one. I get so pist when I get nagged for not calling or answering my phone. Our brains are constantly busy, we have dead lines up the ass, bosses nagging and worse of all figuring traffic full of idiots. We are responsible every time we get on the road, not to kill someone. Our brains are on overtime every time we sit behind the wheel and believe it or not it's mentally exhausting. So when we have to deal with relationship problems we would rather not deal with it. I can't speak for everyone but for myself and my trucker friends that I have talked to about this, all say the same. I don't know if any of this helps but I know the thought of being able to be home is a distant dream. Being able to spend time with our kids or have freedom to do bbqs and watch a movie are all luxuries. Every minute we spend out here belongs to someone else. So, bottom line is this, I think maybe you didn't really love him the way you thought you did or it wouldn't be the issue it is now and I honestly think maybe you are being a little selfish. I'm not degrading you or trying to be mean but maybe there are other issue there. I guess what I'm trying to say is loving him would consist of being supportive with diet on the road and letting him know you have his back. Sometimes that makes a big difference. And when he comes home letting him just have some down time might make a difference for him too. I don't if this helps but I hope so, and why cheat? That's such a chicken shit thing to do. Brake up with him before that, after all I'm sure there is a fine lady out there that will love what he has to offer. You will take his money and kid, at least leave him with his dignity.

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