Trucker wife, full time job, mommy dutties!

by Unknown desperate one
(Los angeles, ca)

I don't feel noticed, I am not told many things I expect to hear. When we talk he makes me feel like he expects much more from me, than I should from him. When I'm the one waiting for him through out the month. I don't know how to feel anymore.

I have seen him entertain other girls, online while he's on the road. I wasn't born yesterday, I will be lying to myself if I didnt think he's cheat on me. I have not proven so.

If I was the one entertaining anyone while he's away I'm sure he'd leave me in a heart beat. I can only go so far thinking I'm not enough for him. I need advice.

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Sep 02, 2015
Wife NEW
by: Anonymous

Communication is key. Don't expect him to read your mind! Let him know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Own your feelings. Let him know that when he does.... I feel.... Don't blame your feelings on him. Remember to show appreciation for the sacrifices he makes to provide for his family. By the same token, it's ok to let him know you love it when he acknowledges your sacrifice as well!
Set goals, financial or otherwise... It acts as a benchmark and helps to document your achievements. Your goals can be as simple as growing an educational fund for the kids, saving up for retirement or taking a vacation even buying a new couch, dishes or whatever. ... We all have things we want. Your combined efforts will make it happen. When you start meeting some of your goals it will all feel worth it.

Aug 04, 2015
Cheating or not... NEW
by: Anonymous

You had a comment previously that offered very thoughtful advice but initially, what needs to happen before anything else will work is talking to him, talking calmly about what you feel and what you think is happening and why, with no threats of separation or divorce. As hard as it may be you must keep your cool. It's at this point that it is up to him to respond. Not knowing him, it could be a response of anger, silence, walking away, or the truth, which might not be what you want to hear but at least you'll know the truth and at that point there might be hope through counseling,etc. It is critical to talk to him. You'll drive yourself crazy obsessing about what he may or may not be doing, thinking or feeling. If he does talk to you, truthfully your chances of saving the relationship are much better. I hope you can talk and remain outwardly calm, at least.

Aug 02, 2015
Tell him how you feel and study up on....
by: Hervy

Sorry to hear of the challenges in your relationship. I was wondering if you have told him how you felt as you have expressed here?

Is his response one of concern or does he dismiss your feelings about the state of the relationship?

Have you considered marriage counseling? It definitely sounds like you two are on two different pages with what each needs and expects from each other.

A person who is not affiliated with either of you might get both of you to view parts of the relationships differently than how you currently are. Often that helps to make things better, IF both people care about improving the relationship.

Some people don't like Dr. Laura Schlesinger but I happen to think her work is awesome and insightful, practical, useful, etc.

Consider picking up her books on Amazon or locally. Read the reviews and I think you will find it compelling.

Book names...

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriages

It empowers you even when the other person will not commit to counseling, coaching or participating in improvement.

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