Trucker turned wife of a trucker.
I have read some of the stories here and i praise you all for looking for an outlet to vent, and gain support.
When I was a truck drive, i stayed busy with all the daily duties and headaches that come with the job. I found it easy as it was in my blood. I had a very young child at home with my mother, and was getting home weekly. A few weeks into it, i met my husband and he signed onto the company i was with.
Both running flatbed in the same area was great. The money was not much, but life was grand. I got to see my daughter every week, the job i was born for, and a man who knew what trucking was about.
After a while we went driving team for another company, and i seen my daughter less. Now it was once or twice a month. While on the road, your mind stays consumed with every thing there is. From cars that cut you off, to the appointment times, and the hours you have to work in, any day can be overwhelming.
Being together so much, i became pregnant. I got out of the truck seven months along as i could not take the daily multiple climbs in and out of the truck, let alone the bumping around. I had no idea how much different life would be.
Being we ran team, we lived in the truck and not a house. It was hard moving to another state where the company was in hope for him to be home more. This was my wake up call.
Alone in a new place, with a baby on the way, i went through the largest range of emotions possible. Knowing he seen the pain i went through not seeing my daughter, i wanted to be mad at him for not being home weekly, in stead of two weeks.
It was a time of make it, or break.
As a wife of a trucker, i learned how to do the job of two people or more. From finding a home, to doing the moving of our stuff across mutable states.
I had seen the life that now laid ahead of me. I cried, i questioned, felt lost, and a bit betrayed. Not that it was his fault, he was out trying to provide for our growing family. How could I be mad at him for that? Yet, i was.
It stressed our marriage, and i could not stand to be alone any more and did so very wrong. Yes i cheated on him. The man who gave me every thing i needed, but was kept away by his job to do so.
If i could do it differently, I would. First, no other man could compare to him. It was simply a void I was looking to fill. Was not looking to replace him with any one, just wanted some one there.
Things got bad when he found out, who could blame him? I know what its like on the road away from family, yet I was too consumed with loneliness and stress of the house and family side of it to think of how he felt being away.
We managed to work it out, and stay together. That was 2 years ago. Our son is now four years old, and we are a happy, but sometime stressed family. Who isn't these days?
What got us through it? One word, love. He is a strong man to go what i have put him through, and chose to give me another chance. I admit, i didn't deserve it, but I still loved him as well.
Now every day i call him three, four, eight times a day, to let my self know he is there for me, and to let him know I am here for him. He is not the cuddly, full of passion kind of man, but can be distant, and seem preoccupied a lot.
So i have learned to remember :
He is away to provide for us.
He is busy driving, or doing paperwork and can not be on the phone all day with me.
When he does come home, he needs time to get into the "family mindset".
He is not a mind reader, and does not know what i need from him emotionally.
So what do I do now?
I call him a few times in the day. I write letters to him on how I feel and how grateful I am for him, and him providing for us.
This he can read in the truck. We plan a date night once a month. I try to keep as busy as he is, but not to where i'm overwhelmed. I remind him
his time home, is a break from his job, but I need to get out and have a break also.
It is hard almost every day still, trying to do the job of two.
But if you and him, are up front with each other and create good communication, be it phone, or paper, remind him of what you go through, and tell him how honored you are of his sacrifice to be doing his best to take care of you (your family), it should help things run a bit smother.
If you can take a ride with him. Yes it will suck when you are back home and he is on the road. He will remember the time you spent with him in his environment. Find friends who understand whats its like.
A wife of a soldier may understand, but our men are gone every day. Most times, soldiers get to come home and stay. I will always love and support my "Road Soldier".