trucker husband hid female friendship

Hello. Im new to this site. I wanted some info and your opinions on this subject . My husband is a local truck driver. he's been trucking for 4 years now. I recently found out through phone logs and later on looking at actual phone account that my trucker husband has been chatting it up and texting with this female lady friend every single day. He claims that it is "just a friendship" now from what I found out: I seen a particular phone number that struck me as odd because I didn't recognize the number.


Upon further research I found out that they talk and text every single day. He never told me of this new "female" friendship he had with her. I told him to call her so I can hear what type of conversation goes on and how they talk to each other. He wouldn't call her her in front of me.

After about 3 days of asking him to call her and him refusing I finally called her. She told me that she never knew he was married. She also said she gave him her personal phone number on 3 separate occasions. When I asked her why she gave him her phone number she told me " I just gave him my number to give him my number"

Were they really just friends in your opinion? did she want something more with him. Did he want something more with her? Did he want to see how far he can take this "new friendship: without my knowing about it? She is 42 years old and divorced.

Why didn't my husband tell her right away he was married? Im sure he had enough opportunities to tell her. I feel hurt and betrayed. How can I know that they are telling me the truth. I feel so lost and angry at them both. He said he no longer talks to her but how can I be sure I don't want to be playing detective.

This went on for a week before I found out but I know she had or had like 2 other phone numbers as well. so I just wanted your ladies opinion on the subject. Or mens opinion as well .

Thank you for reading Ladies :-)

Comments for trucker husband hid female friendship

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

May 31, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
friendship NEW
by: Anonymous

His emotional and/or physical needs are not getting met in your relationship.

I know this because I've been on the other side of this. My emotional needs were not being met. I found friendship with a different man. It was platonic but still a friendship but it definitely could have turned into something more. I enjoyed the attention the other man was giving me. My husband found out and was devastated. Read up on emotional infidelity and you'll see exactly what was going on and why.

You need to communicate your needs to him and he needs to communicate his needs to you. It will hurt you to hear your faults and visa versa so keep an open mind and don't interrupt. Listen to his needs and find away to meet them. This goes both ways.

Forgive him and move on. If you can find a way to full fill each other you will be stronger for it. If you can't, it will happen again, just with someone else and your marriage will be over.

Feb 11, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Fishy NEW
by: Hervy

You said it. Fishy.

Seems like it might have just been friends because you caught it early. One or both might have "just been seeing where it goes".

Since it hadn't gotten beyond that, it isn't that hard to just cut things off completely.

Why do I say that?

Well first, like you said, there is no reason to say my baby Momma to a "just friends" (especially not to correct it"

Second, if it was really just a quality person with whom there was a desire to have a friendship, then why wouldn't the friendship remain and him be enthusiastic about you meeting another quality person?

That being said, in my opinion, a married couple shouldn't have close friends of the opposite sex that are buddy buddy and all in the couple's business. That is a problem waiting to happen anyway. Maybe I am old fashion but, that's how I feel about that. Especially not someone who comes in the picture after the couple is together. If it is an old friend that was introduced when the couple meet sure, that's different. There is history, boundaries and clarity with that relationship and you can gauge it before getting involved. But i digress, that is a little off topic...sorry

Feb 11, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
trucker husband hid female friendship (more details) NEW
by: Anonymous

Forgot to mention my husband and this "lady friend" as he says also deleted both text messages to each other and he also erased his call logs from her on his phone. when i called her i forgot to ask her to send me a screen shot of the exchanged messages, so when i remembered i text her and she said that she deleted anything having to do with my husband along with their text messages. when she looked on his FB page she asked him who was that woman with him in the pictures and my husband said that I was just his baby momma. he told me he said that to her in a joking manner. that doesnt' add up to me. why joke about it. and why not correct her and say no that's my wife. I also found out he called her when i was NEVER around. it just seems fishy. and now he doesn't talk to her at all. I told him if he wants to have her as a friend as she says then go ahead but i want to meet her and i want her to know you are married. funny thing is after i called her to tell her he was married with kids she never called him again and he didn't call her anymore either. so it just makes me wonder. was it really a "friendship".

Feb 11, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
trucker husband hid female friendship (more details) NEW
by: Anonymous

Forgot to mention my husband and this "lady friend" as he says also deleted both text messages to each other and he also erased his call logs from her on his phone. when i called her i forgot to ask her to send me a screen shot of the exchanged messages, so when i remembered i text her and she said that she deleted anything having to do with my husband along with their text messages. when she looked on his FB page she asked him who was that woman with him in the pictures and my husband said that I was just his baby momma. he told me he said that to her in a joking manner. that doesnt' add up to me. why joke about it. and why not correct her and say no that's my wife. I also found out he called her when i was NEVER around. it just seems fishy. and now he doesn't talk to her at all. I told him if he wants to have her as a friend as she says then go ahead but i want to meet her and i want her to know you are married. funny thing is after i called her to tell her he was married with kids she never called him again and he didn't call her anymore either. so it just makes me wonder. was it really a "friendship".

Feb 10, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Ask him this question
by: Hervy

If he acts as if he doesn't see anything wrong with this, simply ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed.

If he acts as if it wouldn't bother him if you had a secret phone pal, then we know that is a lie or at least a problem with his thinking.

Either way, it is cause for the need for counseling.

Really, the question is what type of person is he? I mean if he doesn't realize that was inappropriate and stupid then you are right, how can you trust him? So you have to decided how to deal with that.

You might also want to get him to listen to this track #14. Taking trucking to the next level

It would have told him not to go down that path and cause him to think about where even innocent but dumb choices can end up.

Best of luck and I hope you find a workable solution for you two.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Truckers Wives Forums.








Trucker Jobs