Truck driver's wife for 25 yrs and still working on it

by Theresa
(Clover, SC)

I am a driver's wife and he has been driving for 18 years. I supported him in his career and raised the children mostly by myself.

It is not only hard on wives, but its harder on the children. When he would come home, he didn't want to be bothered by the children. Each wanting his attention.

When the children are small and with their activities they do all week long and then Daddy's home, it's crazy. They didn't understand why Daddy wouldn't play with them, never being there at school advents. Missing games and practices.

One time my husband picked up our daughter from a ROTC camp and her friends didn't even know she had a Dad. The ladies at church thought I was a widow, because they never saw my husband at church. I was always alone with the children.

Don't get me wrong, He loves his children, but our daughter grew up in a blink of an eye and he missed most of it.

I did most of the up keep at the house the man's work and the woman's work. I grew resentful that I was doing everything, plus working at part time jobs and all he did was drive a truck!

We grew apart and he found other women to be there for him. As, the children got older, they started seeing Daddy in a new light. My daughter today has Daddy's issue and our son is doing his best to understand his Dad.

I was faced with a decision about two year ago. My husband asked for a divorce! This was after I found out about the affairs and 10 years of a woman that claimed to have had a child from him.

She would call the house and she knew all about my husband life. She would send pictures of the girl around the holidays. After this woman, there were more that he wander to because my heart grew black and cold towards him, but I made a commitment to God in my marriage vows and to my children.

I'm no angel and I'm a hard headed woman with strong convictions. I choose not to divorce and to face our problems. I felt if I didn't try and work on my marriage, how could I move on if I had to.

I didn't want to live with regrets and what if. I love my husband and he is a good guy. We always had a roof over our heads, food in the pantry and clothes on our backs.

We faced our demons and changed our ways, well some ways are still being worked on and that is of cause the woman. There is one in Elkin, NC named Selena. She targets truck drivers. Their affair went on for around 5 years.

She used my husband and then dumped him. Her MO is to do this to truck drivers. She also like to rear her ugly head once the driver gets his act together and texts and calls. Opening old wounds and starting trouble again.

She is another one that's like to do it over the holidays. Her number is 336removed off I77 in NC, Kangaroo. or, the Wilcho at the next exit down.

She calls other drivers lets them know who comes in the store. She gives out truckers information to others truckers. She likes to start trouble in a bad way and she has affairs with married or single, guys or gals.

The woman has major issues, a real nut case. Well, my husband and I are working on our marriage and hopefully we will be celebrating our 25th Anniversary this May. all I can say is a trucking life is hard on all, not just the drivers, but ALL.

Read Proverbs and be thankful for what you have and not what you want.

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Feb 17, 2012
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helpful suggestions NEW
by: AnonymousTheresa

I use the white pages on the internet to look up phone numbers. I checked the number on it and it showed it is a mobile phone. Location wright city, Misthe phone listingsouri area, but that is just listing. I have paid to find information on moblie numbers in the past. There are sites on the internet you can use, just use caution. This is how I found out about my husband affairs, not that yours is having one. I've had the same experience with certain phone numbers, like you are having n the were mostly prepaid cells and the person has not paid for more minutes. I hope this has helped in some way and things work out to the best for you. My God help to easy your troubles.

Feb 16, 2012
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wife of retired military man, now left behind trucker wife NEW
by: Anonymous

I raised our daughter who is now married herself, with my military husband gone most of her life. Then she graduated and he bought a truck to pay for her college, and I don't regret paying for her schooling. It was hard for a few years paying tuition, room and board and for a truck, but somehow we managed. He still drives but I find it harder and harder to deal with him away 3 weeks out of the month. We're older, grandparents, and I have gone on the road with him, but I manage the house and the bills. I have always taken care of everything back here so that when he gets home, all he has to do is be with me. In the last few years, a friend of his reared her ugly head saying they had a special bond between them. I confronted him and asked him to tell me what he wanted. He chose our marraige and claimed theyres was just a friendship. She now follows me online to see what I post because we've changed our numbers and shes wanting to talk to him. So everything he does is suspect to me. My question to anyone who can answer please, for my sanity, can you get incoming calls from a cell that you can't call back on? Are there brokers or workers who have cells that only call out? He says he can't remember who he talked to and I have the number on my bill, the phone company cant help me. I am beside myself because he talked to this person for almost an hour on valentines day and doesnt have the number on his phone and cant or wont remember who it was from. If anyone knows this number and who it belongs to, please ease this trucker wifes mind. !-636-384-8390

Dec 22, 2011
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still working NEW
by: Theresa

You have to look at things as a coin, everything has two sides and sometimes more. During our troubled time. It was so full of hate and I close my heart. I stay busy with the kids, extra activities, worked and closed my husband off. We stayed to get for the kids. He came from a divorced home and I came from a traditional family, as you can say. I did things during that time that was not the best of choices. Love and hate are powerful emotions... I got tired of hating and decided to open up my heart. Since we decided to work on our marriage and most of all communicate. Make time for your family is a must, especially for the children. I don't mean buyong things, but the little things. Teach them, show them how to do things. Go fishing! The next is a must, make time for the two of you. Rekindle why you chose the person you are with. One on one time. We didn't do it and that is what hurt our marriage. But, we are rediscovering ourselves and have grown closier then ever before.

Dec 22, 2011
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Working on things NEW
by: Theresa

Even though, I have been married for 25 yrs the affairs started about 7 or 8 yrs ago. Yes, I have been TOTALLY checked out. He realized that these truckstop beauties are out for one thing, THEMSELVES! They flatter the drivers and pay them attention and make them believe they are sincere. When only they want a big tip or more. They get so involved with the other life that home life lost its glitter. I chose to work on my marriage and its been a work in progress with smooth roads and pot holes. If things don't work out, well at least I can say I tried my best and live with no regrets or what ifs. They say marriages are made in Heaven. So, is thunder and lighting, but after every storm is GOD's promise of a rainbow!

Dec 21, 2011
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God bless ur family NEW
by: Anonymous

You must truely love ur husband, I am new to this, my husband just started on the road, the fact that the company does not allow them time to visit home is just insane. This story makes me so worried. This is my second marriage, I dont know if i could tolerate infidelity, and trust again.
I hope the best for you and your family. Maybe he can lease the truck and plan better to spend time with you.
Have a good holiday.

Dec 19, 2011
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25 years NEW
by: Anonymous

I can't believe you put up with him for 25 years. Yes he put a roof over your head and food on the table but these are things you could have done yourself. I pray that you get checked out by a doctor because you may be harboring HPV or even worse from your husbands affairs. Good luck to you honey, you are gonna need it.

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