sick of trucker life

I met my trucker husband, five years ago. We met on an online dating site, where he lied about what he did. If he would have told me what he did for a living, I would not have responded at all.

Needless to say, we met, I saw red flags, but being naive, I went for it anyway, and married a year later.

He never had any kids, I have four. He is one of the most controlling individuals, I've ever met. I think it goes hand in hand with the lifestyle of trucker.

It's a very "me" oriented career.

He is home every other weekend, which is great now, but in the beginning I wanted him to be home more. He was angry that I asked that at all. Now I never ask. His time when he is home, is exclusively his and his alone. You better never ask him for anything, especially money, or ask him to do anything around the house, or putting in a yard, things like that.

He expects me to wait hand and foot on him when he gets home, do his laundry just so, cook for him, clean for him, sex for him, etc.

I'm thinking of getting into counseling, so I can get out of this relationship. I felt it was important for a parent to be here at the home since he is rarely here, so I'm not working outside the home.

That, caused great conflict with him that I do not earn my keep. I think truckers have very little if any respect for women.

There might be a few, but the stories I hear about the other truckers he works with are similar to mine. He, defends the truckers not the wife. The fact they are truckers says a lot about them.

I was really emotionally strong when I met him, now, I feel I cant make any decision on any level. My advice to anyone out there who is thinking about settling with a trucker, is run as fast as you can, don't do it, they will bring pain to you and sorry to say the worst pain to the kids.

So, protect you and your children. Love yourself, respect yourself, love your kids, and protect them. A trucker will offer you or your children neither.

What they are looking for is someone to cater to them when they are not on the road. They love the freedom of the road, and look at the person they are with as something to use when they get home.

I wish I would have listened to my gut instinct, but I didn't. I'm looking for work, to get out of this, but it's hard.

I had a dream he murdered me the other night. He did, he killed my spirit.

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Jan 12, 2013
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Sick NEW
by: Proud wife

I really take offense that you would judge all truckers because yours isnt "mr. Perfect" in your eyes. You knew his profession and his behavior before you married hom and YOU made thay choice. It seems you married him to change him, not loving him for the person he is. By all means divorce him, if that makes you happy. But it sounds like you made the mistake and place the blame on him because your not happy. I love my driver, he busts his ass and risks his life everyday to support us and our children. I have no problem spoiling him when hes home, as a way of showing him our love and appreciation for everything he does. He treats me and our children like gold. Honestly i'd be the same way if i was treated like it sounds like you treat him. Respect is a two way street lady, show it and you might just get it!

Jan 12, 2013
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Sick NEW
by: Proud wife

I really take offense that you would judge all truckers because yours isnt "mr. Perfect" in your eyes. You knew his profession and his behavior before you married hom and YOU made thay choice. It seems you married him to change him, not loving him for the person he is. By all means divorce him, if that makes you happy. But it sounds like you made the mistake and place the blame on him because your not happy. I love my driver, he busts his ass and risks his life everyday to support us and our children. I have no problem spoiling him when hes home, as a way of showing him our love and appreciation for everything he does. He treats me and our children like gold. Honestly i'd be the same way if i was treated like it sounds like you treat him. Respect is a two way street lady, show it and you might just get it!

Jan 11, 2013
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We're not all bad NEW
by: Nate truck driver

I have Ben driving some time now and I now lot of drivers out there that loves there wife's and respect them to I have a wife that is home with are son and I'm out driving all the time I can't what to come home to my wife and son. That we drive for are family and thousand it here family's out there so thy can have food to by and stuff to get for there family's that a truck driver. Gives up so I there's do not have to. Like me and some of truck drives give are family the things thy needs and want and are happy to do that and when we come home we try to give are family are time and take care of the thing that are wife's need done at home I say the one u got is a a hole and making the rest of truck drives look bad. And he needs to be taking out back and get the shit kicked out of him.

Jan 10, 2013
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It depends on the man NEW
by: Godsgirlisreal

I also sorry to hear is goin is going sour. It really depends on the man that you have. I am blessed to have a man of God, he is there for me and understands when I am sad or when I need his company I am able to travel with him we pray together and we put God first.
Maybe you need to think about as the writer before me said getting some marital counseling. Again being married to my husband who is a trucker hand has been before I married him he treats me like I am his queen we have 1 do her name is angel and she spot she is our child. Anything I ask for emotionally. Being a trucker's wife is not for everybody. You need to know love be in love and trust your man.

Jan 10, 2013
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starstarstar
It depends on the man NEW
by: Godsgirlisreal

I also sorry to hear is goin is going sour. It really depends on the man that you have. I am blessed to have a man of God, he is there for me and understands when I am sad or when I need his company I am able to travel with him we pray together and we put God first.
Maybe you need to think about as the writer before me said getting some marital counseling. Again being married to my husband who is a trucker hand has been before I married him he treats me like I am his queen we have 1 do her name is angel and she spot she is our child. Anything I ask for emotionally. Being a trucker's wife is not for everybody. You need to know love be in love and trust your man.

Jan 10, 2013
Rating
starstarstar
It depends on the man NEW
by: Godsgirlisreal

I also sorry to hear is goin is going sour. It really depends on the man that you have. I am blessed to have a man of God, he is there for me and understands when I am sad or when I need his company I am able to travel with him we pray together and we put God first.
Maybe you need to think about as the writer before me said getting some marital counseling. Again being married to my husband who is a trucker hand has been before I married him he treats me like I am his queen we have 1 do her name is angel and she spot she is our child. Anything I ask for emotionally. Being a trucker's wife is not for everybody. You need to know love be in love and trust your man.

Jan 10, 2013
Rating
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You choose to go against your own gut feeling NEW
by: Anonymous

I am sorry that you are so unhappy. You will have to get out of this relationship and forget about counseling run for your life if you are in this much pain. You must know that no one can break your spirit unless you allowed them to. God does not work that way. Your choices is what got you into this mess, so it will take you to get out of it. If you pray to God to help you to have peace of mind while you figure out how to get away from this person I am sure he can help you out. You will have to ask yourself many questions. Starting with why are you still there? What is taking you so long to leave? Why are you living in such pain and around your children in the same house with this type of person.

I must make a comment, and that is, NOT all truckers are complete idiots like the person you are with. Good truckers (like mine) take care of their families. Are grateful for the family they have. Open doors for their wives, feed and buy nice things for their children. Pay their bills on time and ask if we need things or anything special while they are at it. Take their families on vacation and are home for sickness, holidays, birthdays, etc..even if it means they lose out on a weeks pay.

You just happen to get a bad seed...and that means he was what he is before he was a trucker and before he met you. So don't take it personal, he is no good and he ain't gonna change, this should be the red flag that tells you to get the HECK OUT!

good luck.

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