OTR boyfriend cheated, later says he wants open relationship for sex.

by Ali
(PA)

A few weeks ago my boyfriend admitted to me that he was talking to his ex. That's a long complicated story, but I was left feeling incredibly hurt.


He never spent time with her physically while we were together, and he swears he only talked to her in an attempt to get money back that she owed him, but I know that the nature of their conversations often turned explicit.

He and I worked really hard to repair our relationship and to try to get to a healthy, trusting place again.

We spent a great few days together recently over Thanksgiving weekend, and when he left it was the hardest it's ever been to say goodbye to him. I felt like our relationship was stronger than ever, and for once I felt secure in the fact that I was his sole focus.

Then today he asked for an open relationship, and I've gone back to feeling like nothing I do is enough for this man. When we're physically together we have a dream relationship. When he's on the road, it feels like there's always something causing tension between us!

Now, it's the fact that he says he needs an open relationship because he's too sexually frustrated when we're not together.

Maybe I'm young and dumb, a 21 year old student who has already given him more chances than he deserves, but most of the time he makes me so happy! When he said he needs an open relationship I was hurt.

Are there any women out here who can give me some advice? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt and acknowledge that he must be lonely on the road?

I think it's completely fair for me to expect an exclusive, monogamous relationship since that is what we agreed to. Plus, how am I supposed to trust him with other girls if he cheated on me before??

Do guys really NEED sex the way they say they do? Feeling hurt and confused. Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!

Thank you, ladies <3

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Dec 05, 2018
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I know how you feel.
by: Anonymous

I know the feeling. I am a wife of a truck driver and I am also 31 weeks pregnant. I use to ride with him on the truck and a month after he got what was suppose to be a local driving job we found out I was pregnant. I thought everything was good until he told me he still had feelings for his ex and none for me. It cuts like a knife and their is really nothing you can do but what is best for you. Yes it does hurt that will never change. But don't let him ruin who you are. Hold your head high things will work out.

Nov 30, 2018
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From a Man
by: Hervy

I know you said you wanted to hear from women but I felt you might benefit from my perspective.

Many guys will take advantage of a nice woman who will allow an open relationship.

Often these women have low self esteem or truly believe that all men cheat anyway. Or woman that are so nice, naive and/or understanding that they are easily convince/manipulated.

The good thing about him is that he at least told you he wanted that. He could have just been a scumbag and tried cheating behind your back.

That said, you shouldn't allow that if you are not comfortable with having an open relationship.

Plus you need to look at his level of personal responsibility. Will he use protection and what happens if there are babies outside of your relationship. So it's deeper than just sex. What disease and babies?

Do mean need sex? I have had no sex since 2011. At first it was hard. It takes discipline and determination. However with goals and other things to focus on it becomes easier and easier.

Why I've done this is because there are other things I am working on that takes the attention that I would be putting in relationships.

These things are personally and financially rewarding to that when I find the RIGHT woman, we are good with money and we can actually spend our time the way we want to.

So it's possible that he can focus his time and attention on you, the family and creating wealth instead of sex. Unless he has a chemical imbalance that makes his body crave sex (Not simple desire, we all have that) then he doesn't HAVE to have sex.

I know most men say that and most people believe that but no, it's just a mindset. It's possible to control your urges/body but most people let their low level desires control their actions.

So that's my 2 cents. If he has stated where he is mentally, that's what it is.

You have to decide on what you will allow.

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