New trucker's girlfriend, pregnant with first child... stressed.

by Heather

Hi ladies,

I'm sure my situation isn't unique, but I do need a sympathetic ear.

My boyfriend and i have only been together officially for six months. We dated briefly back seven years ago in high school, but he had to move to Florida. We were both engaged to other people during those years, but those relationships didn't last.

We stayed in touch all those years, and remained good friends. My relationship with my ex ended just before he and i got together. To be honest, I'm still mourning the loss of that life i had, but I'm completely in love with him.

Anyway, we have a Houdini child on the way. I'm fourteen weeks pregnant as i type this. I wasn't, and honestly... Still am not ready to be a mom. He's excited as can be. We're both 25, and it will be the first child for both of us.

We live together in my grandma's old condo. My mom is renting it to us super cheap, including all utilities.... Which is a godsend.

My boyfriend is a wonderful man, and trucking is his dream job. He grew up in trucks, because his Dad has always been a trucker. Both of my parents worked full time while i was growing up. My Dad owned his own pet food store for twenty plus years, but now works a city job.

I'm scared to raise this child on my own. I'm still not happy about being pregnant, and the more i think about him being on the road and gone when this kid comes, the more resentful i feel.

I already lost my dog grooming job when we became pregnant, and I've been home alone for weeks. I have my family and his to hang out with, but he's gone all the time. I would totally be fine with this if i wasn't pregnant and scared out of my mind about it.

I've tried talking to him about taking up a different job other than trucking but he really doesn't want to hear it. And, he figures if he goes local, he'll be gone more than if he was still otr... Because that's what his Dad and dad's friends have told him.

Right now he's running from mi to TX. I can't even stand the thought of dealing with a newborn by myself the majority of the time. I don't even want to be a mom now let alone do it by myself!

Not only that, but he's horrible with money. Spends like crazy when he's on the road, and as a result... My charge card had gotten run up to almost five grand, just from me trying to put gas in the Jeep and keep myself fed. It's ridiculous.

Now, my Jeep has a bad wrist pin, which is extremely expensive to fix, and I'm going to have to ask family for a loan to fix it... On top of trying to pay the credit bill, dental bills, catch his truck payment up, and everything else.

I'm stressed out beyond belief right now, and i just want to cry.

I don't know what to do. I wish i was still working, and have been trying to get a job. I'm close, and have done four interviews for one place, but not hired yet... But how am i going to work once the baby comes?

He's about to get a new trucking job, but my main request in him finding new employment still goes unmet... INSURANCE.

I still have it through my parents, but what about baby when he or she arrives in seven months? Dog grooming jobs just do not provide insurance, and with my experience in buying it on my own... It covers nothing.

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Aug 14, 2012
Tough NEW
by: American trucker

I have been a road driver 27yrs seems to me that the both of you didnt really sit down and discuss this type of work for him.Trucking is not a job it's a life style and if you both are to be together the baby needs to be also.So honestly just by what you have said i don't think either one of you are ready to bring new life into this world when you haven't figured out your own..
best of luck
American Trucker

Aug 13, 2012
Find out something NEW
by: Anonymous

Does your husband work for a company?
or is he independent?

If he works for a company does your state allow a legal clause for maternity leave?

If so he may be entitled to take a leave of absence just the same as the mother is for a maternity leave.

In California we are allowed up to 90 days leave with a guarantee of keeping our job as long as there are 50 or more employees.

Most companies will honor a person to take a few weeks off when a baby arrives and will hold the job for them.

This might help you feel better if he is there with you when the baby arrives, besides he needs to know, he "needs" to bond with the baby right from the start or the emotions later on might not be right for either of them!!!! then what???

My twin nieces suffered from this with their mother, when they were born they were sent home with my brother while his wife suffered for 3 months after the birth, she was never able to bond properly with them and never overcame this, she died from an overdose of 18 meds they were giving her and the twins suffered once more....but at least they are close with my brother or I don't know what would of happened to them. Very sad :(

Just let him know he needs to be there for this special event and he will just have to understand.
I feel something is wrong if someone can not be there for the baby in the beginning and maybe some counseling is in order.

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