New Trucker Wife, Need SPECIFIC tips for surviving

by Terri
(New York City)

My husband started training last week about 1,000 miles from our home. He'd owned his own business for 23 years (not in trucking) and took 2 years off to rest. He was anxious to work, and wanted to do something that wouldn't make him stuck inside all day. So, he decided on trucking.


I work and have a 17 year old (he's her step dad). I own my own small business, but work from home most of the time.

We are in our 50's, relative newlyweds (2 years) and have spend every moment together these last 2 years. So, I knew it was going to be very difficult when he went on the road.

I guess the nights are the worst; definitely lonely and it reminds me of the time after my divorce and before I met him.

I have friends; most live pretty far away. And I'm an introvert so...there's that.

I've been going to the gym, keeping up with my job, the house and my child. But I feel like I have so much "empty" time on my hands and that's when it's hard for me.

I've been reading about how communication is so important, and I want to know more specifically about how many times a day/week do you all talk or video chat? Do you have a certain time that you set aside or is it kind of catch-as-catch can?

I really didn't anticipate having this, the being alone AGAIN, and I'm trying really hard not to be resentful...but it isn't easy. A part of me feels like I'm being played for a fool and another part of me wants to be supportive and positive (which is all I've shown him so far).

Any specific pointers are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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May 06, 2018
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Hang in there with a positive attitude
by: Hervy

Terri, I am saying that with the hopes that you haven't had anything that would make you think negatively about your husband.

Forget what other women might be saying or going through with their man (relationships). If your husband hasn't given you any reason to worry in the last 2 years, don't take the position that you are being played.

Even though this is a new chapter.

If there is a significant reason for that feeling, that's another story.

But remember this Terri, right now he is in training. If he has chose a company that has no problem running NYC or at least getting him home to NYC, then you could see him at least every other weekend.

Even if that company doesn't get him home that often after 6 months to 1 year experience, he can get a trucking job at a trucking company that can get him home at least that often.

Also after a year or 2 since he has already been a business owner, he can go into business for himself as a trucker. First leasing on to learn the business and then getting his own authority and he doesn't have to stay out for weeks at the time but make just as much money if not more.

So don't allow yourself to worry prematurely. You are currently doing the right thing seeking advice that will help you get through the adjustment.

Remember the current situation doesn't have to be permanent. It's just part of the the journey. You and your husband map out a game plan for where the journey ends.

Then you focus your time and attention on getting there. It leave less free idle time for thinking about the part of the lifestyle you dislike.

Hopefully the ladies will chime in with more details in response to the questions that you asked.

I know a lot of people use skype, google hangout and marco polo.

Best of luck.
Hervy

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