Need Relationship Advice for Newly Weds.
My husband and I were just married in May of 09', I'm 30 years old and he's 39. Everything before we were married were just wonderful!
Since the wedding...not so great! He never wants to talk when he parks for the night. I understand you have a limited amount of time to shower, eat, visit with other drivers, and watch T.V.
I have went out on the road with him 4 different times since our relationship started for at least a month at a time. I would have liked to stayed with him indefinitely but I have medical problems and with the treatment I'm on I cannot.
I'm not trying to monopolize his time or keep him from relaxing, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me either and I know there isn't much time for relaxing when your out on the road.
I run an in home daycare center and I am pretty busy all day with the exception of nap time. I know there are times during the day that are the busiest for him so I let him be the first to call.
He hardly ever wants to talk when he parks for the night. When we first got together he would call me throughout the day and spend half the night on the phone with me. I know that wears off (it has a little for me too:) but now it seems all he wants to do is call after his movie for 5 minutes and tell me goodnight.
He turns his cell phone off when he goes to bed...I locked myself out of the truck one night and he had moved the spare key on the truck to a different place.
The next day when we talked he said there was no reason for me or any other person to need to reach him in the middle of the night. That everything could wait till the next morning and that there wasn't anything he could do to help in an emergency anyway!
What about give advice, moral support, or in this case simply save me a lot of headache and tell me where he put the damn spare?!?!
When we are talking or he doesn't like what I'm saying he will simply hang up on me and avoid my calls until the next day or he feels like answering!
We don't necessarily even have to be arguing. The phone is our only way of communicating and it pisses me off more than anything to be hung up on!
I think it's one of the rudest things you can do to someone!
My husband has been married two other times in the past and has admitted to cheating on his last wife...which makes me concerned.
He always talks to other female drivers, one of these drivers he told me he used to team with and they were intimate a few times. I'll admit I probably didn't handle that situation the best, I demanded he not talk to her while he was over the road and a while later found out he had been. He claims he never speaks to her anymore but our cell bills are separate and I don't believe him.
Another day I tried to contact him about some major medical tests I had been waiting on the results for, I tried calling him. He told me he was eating lunch at the yard with Danielle for driver appreciation. This is a new friend he had met when he started at this company about 2 years ago (she's gay and had just started dating a girl so my husband reveals later that night) so he didn't call back for an hour or so so I called him.
He was in her personal vehicle going to find a place to do laundry?!? ok a few hours later not hearing from him I tried to call him again, he was eating dinner with her and her date (later found out at hooters) finally he calls me around 10 or so by then I was livid now you want to know what I've been trying to tell you all day!
I have little good to say about his friends most of which are female but I try and keep it to myself whenever possible. His best friend who is also suppose to be gay told him to "hook up" with the girl he used to team with when we first started dating. She told him I would never find out. She's right I wouldn't and who's to say he hasn't.
I feel as he is never there for me anymore. His aunt passed away in June 09'. I made arrangements for all my daycare kids to go to another center for the day since I had no one to watch them so I could be there for my husband since he was very close to her.
The last time he asked me to come out on the road with him I had to ask my parents to find alternate care. When I returned I lost all but one of my kids which I knew that would likely happen.
Parent's do not like to have to move their kids around even if they like the place they want stability and this was about the 3rd time they had to find other care.
My Grandma who helped raise me as a child passed away the day before Thanksgiving this past year. My husband told me he would be there for her services. He was wasn't scheduled to leave out until that Saturday and that if he had to he would see if his boss would let him pass back through...which he had done in the past.
Friday morning I woke up to hear him talking to his boss, never mentioning the death in the family at all saying, "hey boss man, I can leave out today if you need me to." his dispatcher had called to make sure he had gotten the load since it was a holiday and to make sure he would be leaving Saturday. I knew there was a slim chance his dispatcher would be able to pass him back through the house and we really couldn't afford for him to miss that much work, her services were on Monday, but I felt like he could have tried!
When I took him back to his truck there was another truck from his company parked there (that likely didn't even have a load) I pointed this out to him, he knocked on the door to talk to the driver so he could possibly swap loads- he wasn't in the truck. He had me drop him off at the store so he could "look for the driver" he came out about five minutes later saying he didn't see anyone wearing his company's logo....WHAT LOGO I HAVEN'T EVER SEEN YOU WEAR OR WASHED ANYTHING WITH YOUR COMPANY'S NAME ON IT SINCE YOU STARTED THERE?!?!
I feel like he uses his job to get out of things he really doesn't want to deal with.
I also get upset because anytime I try and talk to him about our relationship he says he can't talk while he's driving, then if I try when he's parked, he can't, when he's home he avoids it! Christmas night while he was home we stayed up talking for the first time since we got married about what would make things better for us.
I told him how I felt about him hanging up on me and avoiding my calls when he gets mad and everything else that was bothering me. He said he would do better and he's been gone a week and it's the same as before.
I feel as though I'm taken for granted and unappreciated. I really do want my marriage to work but I have talked to him over and over to get him to understand what I need from him to be happy, I know he can't be home everyday and I'm not asking him to stay on the phone hours a day, just show me that you care and support me in any way he can...like I do for him!
Do you have any advice to that may help?
Maybe I am expecting too much from him and if that's the case let me know.
I just want an unbiased opinion or advice.