Lonely and Empty

by Judy
(Illinois)

My husband has only been OTR for a year. Before that, he had the normal 9-5 and home everyday job. He says that he chose truck driving for our family, but I think he did it so that he could run away from our unstable marriage and the responsibilities of being a husband and father.

He talks to one of his trucker buddies on average, at least an hour every day when he's out. I'm lucky if I get to talk to him for 30 minutes a day. He won't even talk to our daughter over the phone.

He chooses to be out for two months at a time. He's leasing now, which was completely against my wishes. I thought that I had talked him into waiting, but he went and arranged it all anyways. I hate it. He grosses on average around $3000 a week, but we only see between $1500 and $700 of it. It's completely ridiculous.

So, he's gone for six to eight weeks at a time. I read so many happy stories from wives whose husbands come home and are all over them, or stories of wives complaining that their husbands want sex so much when they are home. Mine is the complete opposite. In the year that he has been OTR, I get one short little quickie, that I have to initiate by getting on my knees. And whenever I try to push for something a little more intimate than that, I get a pissed off and annoyed husband.

I tell him how I feel about everything: I've told him how betrayed I felt when he completely disregarded my feelings and concerns and went lease op. I've told him how the lack of sex has made me feel rejected, unwanted, undesired, unloved. He says that he is sorry I feel that way but nothing ever changes.

I love this man with all of my heart. We have been together for almost 13 years and married for almost 10 of those years. I don't want to leave him, but I can't take this pain anymore. I feel abandoned. I feel like I am nothing more than a roommate, a placeholder, and when he holds me at night while he is home I feel like I'm just a big warm stuffed animal.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I know there is nothing wrong with him that would cause the lack of sex. Everything works just fine. He just doesn't want to make love to me, at all. It hurts that he doesn't talk to me, it hurts that he won't make love to me. It hurts that he won't talk to our daughter on the phone, except to yell at her when she's not listening to me while I'm on the phone with him.

I'm losing him. I can feel it. I don't know what to do anymore.

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Jul 13, 2016
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Its just stress . NEW
by: Anonymous

He is just stressed out got into a lease if he is lucky to pay off the truck without a break down. By the time he pay off the truck break down and high maintenance start to come . Is very hard to live off a truck and pay the lease same time . Long hrs to drive ,junk food ,libido goes down ,no time for fun and social life everything is a dream for that driver who may never come true . If wheels not turning no $ to keep up with the payments .You may bring him the most beutifull woman all he cares is to pay off that truck ..

May 31, 2015
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Yes move on NEW
by: Anonymous

I am really sorry to hear that your relationship has ended up like this....you need to flat out ask him is he seeing any other women. Something is going on for him to be so cold to you and its possible he won't tell you.
Its hard but I would separate from him for awhile and not contact him. See if you leaving and ignoring him for a change will phase him at all.
Then you will most likely get some truth out of him. It sounds to me like he is not talking to you enough about his feelings and making your marriage work.
Don't settle for being treated like this even if you are married. Separate for a while and see how he likes it.

May 31, 2015
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Yes move on NEW
by: Anonymous

I am really sorry to hear that your relationship has ended up like this....you need to flat out ask him is he seeing any other women. Something is going on for him to be so cold to you and its possible he won't tell you.
Its hard but I would separate from him for awhile and not contact him. See if you leaving and ignoring him for a change will phase him at all.
Then you will most likely get some truth out of him. It sounds to me like he is not talking to you enough about his feelings and making your marriage work.
Don't settle for being treated like this even if you are married. Separate for a while and see how he likes it.

Apr 29, 2015
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sounds like NEW
by: Anonymous

its time to move on. at some point in our lives this happens and all we can do, is just that...

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