Kids on one coast new life on the other

I am the girlfriend of a man whose kids live on one coast and we live on the other. He constantly is made to feel guilty by his ex about what he isn't doing despite the fact that he is willing giving his ex 3 times what she should get.


Any advice on what i should do he wants to move back there but i have no family or friends out there. Plus i have school age kids.

Any suggestion from women in the same situation new wives or girlfriends deal with his past baggage.

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Mar 11, 2012
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coast to coast - tuff decisions
by: Hervy

Well this is hard to respond to in many ways.

I am speculating about myself, and hoping this is how I would feel. However, I don't know all of the information.

If I were him, I would suspect I would feel guilty also if I moved that far from my kids.

I would probably pay 3 times the amount also if I had it. Until I realized that even if I paid 10 times it did NOT make up for not being their in my kids life as they grew up.

If I didn't know when I left, I probably would learn as I aged that it is important for the proper growth through the stages of childhood for the father to be involved in the kids life, money doesn't cut it. Just the reality.

I mean that's me trying to guess how I would feel as him. Knowing what I know as a mature adult.

What you perceive as her making him feel guilty might just be his own conscious making him feel guilty. They may very well be suffering. The amount of money he sends doesn't matter.

Actually being in your or his shoes is a very tough situation. Especially if the father of your kids is involved in their lives.

I really don't see how anyone can give you any better advice without conversing with you both about more details of the situation.

I would talk it out with a good counselor who specializes in families if I were you two.

Sorry you are dealing with.
Hervy


Mar 11, 2012
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addition to initial post.
by: Anonymous

he moved out here, his kids still live on the other coast with ex wife.

Mar 10, 2012
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kids on one coast and the father on the other
by: Hervy

Did he move from the place the kids are at or did the kids get moved out there by the Mother?

Hervy

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