I have had it......

by K
(Jones Creek)

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I have tried to be supportive and at first things were very hard for me with him being gone.

We moved in together in March and things were going well. Until recently, he is Louisiana today and could have come home last night, we live in Texas.

He said I will be home in the morning, I am going to get my 10 hour break, so when I get home we will have the whole day without my being so tired. I was fine with this because he has been working a lot on the road and when he has been home he has been over at his ex's house doing things for her and his kids, not a problem either because she and I get along great and I love his kids like they are my own.

Here is the problem, he tells me to call him at 4 a.m. to make sure he is awake, so being the good truckers girlfriend I get up at 4 this morning it is now 5:50 am, and guess what, I cant get a hold of him, and I am sure the excuse is going to be my phone was dead which is a crock, because that is his excuse whenever I try and call and wake him up, it happened yesterday which is part of the reason he couldn't make it home last night, he was suppose to deliver at 7 and didn't deliver until 12 which meant he didn't get his new load till 5 last night.

I have pretty much had it with him and the bull****, I love this man I knew when we got involved he was a trucker and on the road, our sex life has completely died, he tells me it s not me, it is him he is just so tired all the time.

He gets mad at me when I ask him what is wrong and when I try and tell him he turns it around so some how things are my fault.

I am so ticked off at him he can stay in Louisiana for all I care. I feel like he is blowing me off, not even considering how I feel. If I hear, I'm just tired" one more time I am going to scream.

So now, depending on when he does finally wake up he might not get home till three this afternoon or later and I am just suppose to stay happy and be thankful he is home.

Screw that I have had it with him. He told me he knows where he stands in my life and how much I love him and ya know what he better not get too comfortable because that is about to change ......

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh......Am I just over reacting or just finally seeing the whole picture.

Comments for I have had it......

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 29, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
What's next Kathy? NEW
by: Anonymous

What is in the cards today Kathy? Are you going to stick it out, or are you going to get out? If this guy treats his kids the way you say he does, why should he treat you any different. In other words this is your guys personality, and nothing can change that, as long as he likes the way he is....this should be your first clue there will be no change. Will you keep torturing yourself this way, then maybe end up with this personality disorder yourself? A person can only take so much, they either get out, or start reacting the same way they are treated.....so I hope you look at the bigger picture here and get out before it's to late, and you are caught up in the addiction to a drama filled life!

Best Wishes and God Bless! :)

Sep 29, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
An open letter to my boyfriend... NEW
by: Kathy

Well dear you were gone a week, a long week, not only did I miss you, but you had a three day lay over in Florida, ah I know how hard that was on you.....especially hanging out at the beach, playing on your phone, only responsibility was to yourself and the truck....let me tell you how hard is what on us, I had your children over last weekend because it was "your" weekend with the kids, I took them bowling and then had to explain to your 11 yr. old daughter and 13 yr old son why Daddy won't do anything with them when they are over, yet you go to the beach while in Florida, but you won't go with then when they ask you to go. You got back on Thursday and instead of coming straight home you asked me t meet you at your ex's house because you hadn't seen the kids in like 12 days, you and I both know the ONLY reason you went over there is to meet you ex's new boyfriend that was in town. We had the kids last night and gee you threw them a bone by taking us for a drive in your new truck t the beach, then to out for burgers. You did something with me and the kids for exactly 2 hours then we come home and you play on your phone from 7 p.m. till midnight, ignoring, me and the kid, because god forbid, we mess with your "me" time, you played your games and sent texts to your other female friends, including your EX girlfriend and then come to bed and start tickling me and teasing me...EXCUSE ME, I love you but don't ever take it for granted, don't ever take your kids love for granted either, because let me tell you something buddy, your 11 yr old daughter doesn't want to come over here when you are home, you say you want your children to fear you and when they get older they will respect you, darlin I have news for you, your kids don;t even like you anymore and guess what neither do I so....as I said dont ever take the people in your life for granted because one day you are going to wake up and guess what? Those you have taken for granted are just going to walk away......including me....

Sep 20, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Good for you! NEW
by: Anonymous

I am glad you heard the message I was sending to you! You deserve to be heard.

You are a strong, intelligent, and brave woman. I don't think this guy can take that from you and that is good to hear. I can also see you "are" taking care of "you" and that's important, because we have to live for us and not live for someone Else's dreams. We have a choice in the matter and the choice should be in our favor. Good for you I like what you have to say and keep up the good work! :)

Sep 19, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I have had it ...... NEW
by: Kathy

First thank you all for the comments and taking the time to respond, I so appreciate the advice and ideas.

Yes, I have spoken to him about people he texts with/talks to, he tells me it is n big deal and that he gets "bored" on the road, which is why he doesn't think it is a big deal.

We have talked about other people he knows it is lonely when he is gone and I have "needs" that with him being gone are not being met. Okay, yes but like I said t him, duh, the only person I want to be with is you, he says, I am confident n your feelings for me that I am not worried if you meet a friend for coffee or dinner. Then says to me, just don;t lie, or ever hide anything from me. WHOA just one minute cowboy, I need to be honest and not hide anything from you but it is okay for you to do that, ugh not gonna happen, ether we have complete trust and honesty or we don't.

So, I am going to take your advice I will no longer look at his phone, ask him question or anything else like that, as far as our sex life goes, time to break out the condems and if he doesn't like it oh well,

Like for instance, I spoke to him an hour ago, he had just pulled in the yard, we live 20 minutes from the yard. he still isn't home, where is he, well I have an idea, there is this woman he met on line that works at the local sex store here in town, I would drive over there his truck would be in the parking lot, do I have proof, no not really just a feeling, should I go up there.....seriously thinking about it....if I busted him, would he care? probably not .........

Sep 18, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Wow Yes the update is the same, so funny NEW
by: Anonymous

Okay so my guy is sick too! mmmm my guy has been sick all week. I can tell by the sniffles. Well maybe there is some truth there? He broke down again last night and asked me to pick him up. So maybe the truck is bombing out a lot lately? Well guess we gotta give the benefit of the doubt to them for now.

But I went through that same crap in the beginning with the text and pic's and looking through his phone bill, crap I hated that too. I did not like what I was turning into either! So what I did is I removed myself from doing that completely. I took my texting off my phone, I let him call me mostly, I don't want to be stressed out, so if he really wants to be with me he can prove it that way. I don't bring up the past I cant control what he does, so as well he cant control what I do. I pay my share of the rent and bills I have no ties on him and he has no ties on me. I would not marry him because he already burned me on that one. So he is what he is a "boyfriend" and that's it. Since the phone flicks incidence, I use condoms, to bad for him if he cares at all he wont tell me no. I have to take care of me.

I hope you will take care of you and until you give up just hang out to see if things clear up and remember stress kills because it is a risk factor for cancer. Eat lots of vegi's and fruits that helps too. Dont sweat the small stuff. And always love yourself first and be good to you!! Good Luck :)

Sep 18, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Many of us know how you're feeling... NEW
by: Anonymous

So sorry to hear of the difficulties you've been experiencing. I can empathize with your situation since I've felt many of the same frustrations.

My long-time boyfriend has been driving since earlier this year. I often feel he's created this new "bachelor" lifestyle for himself with no regard for my feelings or the fact that I'm keeping things running at home. Like your boyfriend, he has the attitude of "just be happy that I'm home"...never mind that it's days late because of his inability to deliver on time. Yes, I understand that things happen, but when it becomes a regular routine there's a problem.

I know how hard it is to face the fact you need to reevaluate a relationship with the one you love most in the world. I've had to do it several times already, but I'm still here and things are improving.

I must admit that having other women text my boyfriend would really bother me; especially if there are inappropriate pics involved no matter how far away she lives. Have you talked to him about your concerns? He needs to know that this behavior is bothersome to you.

I wish you a good life!

God bless...

Sep 18, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I have had it ...... NEW
by: Kathy

Thanks for replying, here is a quick update......he called me at 7:45 said he was rolling, his alarm went off and it just ticked him off because he was so damn tired and not feeling well, he is sick, anyway he got in about 3:30 and we did go and do the stuff we needed to do.

I don't know if I over reacted because I was tired and frustrated or if this was just the last straw with him.

When I really sit back and calmly look at things, bottom line is I dint trust him, d I have proof yes and no, never received any calls from anyone, but I know he texts other woman who are friends. But what is freaking me out is there is this one woman well girl actually, who is 23 years old and she sent him some nude photos.....OMG he is old enough to be her father he is 46, I dont feel all that threatened about her, she lives in MA, we live in TX and he NEVER goes there.

Part of the problem is I don't like what I am becoming, checking his phone, etc......

Oh good grief I need to really re-evaluate this relationship, because I am turning into this shrew and I hate it .......grrrrrr

Sep 17, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Maybe a little of both? NEW
by: Anonymous

You are upset and that's normal. I don't think I would be to happy either if I was asked to wake up at 5 am to wake someone else up and then they don't answer. Screw that, let him wake his own self up he is a grown man for crying out loud. If you baby him he is going to expect it and no that's not your fault either some people are just made that way.

Let me know when for months he tells you all the time the truck is broke down and cant get home along with what else is happening you might be having a problem then. If they don't want to come home and we cant find out why, well I guess that's just to bad and its time to move on. In the meantime it does no good to over react because you are only upsetting yourself while he is doing whatever it is he is doing. Play it cool till you have all the details. I will too.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Advice for Truckers and Truckers Wives.








Trucker Jobs