I am confused and need some honest opinions please...

by Mary
(Florida)

Hi...I am 38yrs old and my hubby 32 yrs old. I have been married to my truck driver husband for nearly 10 yrs. Though I had some trust issues before...they were mild.

A yr and a half ago..my husband was released from prison after serving 3 yrs (we saw each other 3 times in 3 yrs) He did time in another state. It was costly to see him. That's why I couldn't see him as often as I would like.

We have 2 beautiful babies.A 5 and 4 yr old.My problem is this....I didn't know about his illegal activities..till he was arrested. He says that was his 2nd time hauling pot and the only reason he did it was cuz of the money. I waited for him. Our kids were babies. My daughter had not been born yet. She was born 4 days after his arrest...my son was 10 months. I raised them alone. Showing them pics of their Dad.

When he got out..I asked him to start fresh. Clean slate. I asked him if he had ever cheated. He said once and he felt bad about it. It was with a waitress (which I don't believe). He slept with her but he said he felt soo bad...if he did..it doesn't show..since according to him..he slept with her twice...in the same night. I can't shake it off. I don't trust him...more now than ever.

What got to me was his illegal activities. He hid that from me...and I didn't notice. Makes me think...he can hide "other things" and I wouldn't notice. I can't say I have seen anything weird. He doesn't turn off his phone when he gets home. He is completely aroused with me...just by kissing him..in 10 yrs..I think it's pretty good that it happens. I don't have hints. He calls me many,many times a day. We even Skype. He says he has changed..he is not the same man he was. Prison changed him and sees what he has and wants. He "Has" changed. I've noticed. He is way more mature. His friends are not important anymore. He cooks in the truck to save money. I don't know how to explain it. I just "feel" he is. It "feels" like he's cheating. I could be paranoid but I don't know what to do. I have asked him point out..we have good communication..but he says no way.

I play with him and tell him "You better watch it..I can put a spy cam in the rig" and he says "Go ahead". I have told him that I could put an investigator..he says no one will do it...who can follow a truck driver. It kills me to feel this way but I don't know what to do. I am unhappy.

I know we love each other and when he is not on the road..we are like newlyweds. We have gone through soo much...and it hurts me to even think of leaving him. Our kids are so small. This is not what I want for them.

I myself have divorced parents and I hated it. I wanted to give them what I didn't have.Please ladies and your husbands too.Can you help me?What do I do?Can I "DO" something to bring back the trust?Can we repair this at all?He says "I know you don't trust me..and I completely understand you...I deserve it. I will win back your trust!".

A yr and a half has gone by but it's not there still. I hate this...I hate feeling this way. I want a different point of view. I want someone's opinion looking in. I can't talk to my family. If they know I have this issue..they will start to hate him. It took awhile for him to "win" them back after his arrest. Lord...please help me here...get me out of this rut!!!!

Comments for I am confused and need some honest opinions please...

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Jul 23, 2011
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Weekend to remember by family life today
by: Hervy

This is a video from family life today about their weekend getaway to focus on marriage. I listen to this program all of the time. These people know how to build, fix, repair, relationships. If you guy is interested in winning your trust and making the relationship work, this is something you guys should definitely consider.

If nothing else visit their website for information and awesome reading about relationships and more
Family Life Today


Jun 27, 2011
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Thanks Guys
by: Anonymous

Ty guys.I do not see your comments as rude.I appreciate them completely.Thank you for sharing.I will take all into consideration...thank you all again...Mary

Jun 27, 2011
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cheaters
by: DZRTJUL

Pay attention to those red flags. Run while your young!!!

Jun 26, 2011
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unhappy
by: Rolly Polly

I agree with Lara for 3 major reasons ( well, 4 or 5)
1 he was not honest about his criminal record or his infidelity so of course you don't trust him

2 your babies aren't gonna suffer if you leave because he wasn't around them much anyway while he was in jail & now he drives otr?

3 most importantly YOU'RE UNHAPPY! Do not make yourself a martyr for a marriage you don't even have faith in. I say you don't have faith in it because if you did, you wouldn't bother with seeing anyone elses opinion on whether you should stay or go.

It is not my intent to sound rude or harsh but I am divorced & I'm telling from experience: FIND SOMEONE BETTER. There are faithful otr drivers (& as Lara stated local drivers) who want to be married.

Jun 26, 2011
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Cheating hubby
by: Lara

Honey, you need to get out of this marriage while you are still young. I put up with it for 31 year. Don't make the same mistake I did. Live your life while you are still young enough to go back to school. Once you file divorce papers he may come around. There are a lot of local jobs for truck drivers where he can be home every night. If he really loves you he will fight for you and come home. Good luck sweetie.

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