Husbands Training Female Students

My husband recently became a driver trainer with his company.

We talked about him becoming a trainer for a while and I'm ok with him being a trainer. The only stipulation I had was I didn't want him training females and he agreed that was a reasonable request.

He later told me that there could be instances where he doesn't have a choice if he is available and no female trainers are available. I'm just not ok with this... Granted it hasn't actually happened yet so I'm sure I'm overreacting.

When he told me this I told him I wasn't ok with it and he got defensive saying that he wouldn't cheat on me so it shouldn't matter.

I do trust him but several weeks living in the same truck as another woman just isn't something I'm comfortable with.

Does anyone have any advice for me on how to handle things if this hypothetical situation becomes real?

Comments for Husbands Training Female Students

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Sep 13, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		It does seem strange
by: Hervy

Yes if you already agreed that he would go solo between training students its odd that he would change his mind with no explanation.

Unless the company doesnt allow the driver to switch back and forth. But if thats the case that should be his response to your inquiry about it.

At the end of the day though there are many ways you tell if he is intentionally avoiding home.

Avoiding home is not a good sign. The only good temporary excuse that I can think of is if you stay somewhere that its hard for the company to find freight to
Or from and you guys are trying to maximize the paychecks to accomplish a financial goal.

That would mean staying out for weeks at a time would equalnto more money than going home more frequently in between.

Hopefully you can sit down and discuss what is going on and get some reasonable answers.

Make new updated plans on reaching family goals. Just that alone might reset better habits and choices as the focus is shifted.

Him trucking being a married man should be about the family as a primart concern not fun.

If that cant be resolved I would make sure to put in place protection for you in the event of divorce. (See a lawyer, financial planner).

Hope for better than that outcome but based on what I have seen happen just advice I am compelled to share as preventive.
May 22, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		things to think about
by: Jimmy

I trained many a driver in my day. The one female I trained I ended up marrying her ! You're correct in being concerned about the close living arrangements in a truck. However, If hubby is truly in love with YOU, there are no worries.

Hubby can be enticed by any female such as the clerk at the grocery store, the waitress at Applebees etc.

If you needed a plumber while hubby was gone, would it be OK for you and the plumber to be in your home ALONE for several hours ?

Another thing, every female driver I've seen is in the business to make a living, not flirt around. Jimmy
May 21, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		Problems keep adding up....
by: Anonymous

I would really prefer not to say the name of the company right now. I'm starting to realize that my problem is bigger than I originally thought.

Our original agreement was he would take a student one trip out and the go solo one trip out. He doesn't have to be out as long on solo trips so that's why we thought that would work best for us.

This way would be one long trip out followed by a shorter trip... Now, he says he's going to basically have a student any time he goes out.

I'm starting to feel like he just doesn't want to be home. He's been really short with me and really doesn't seem interested in being home now.
May 18, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		Curious About The Compnay
by: Hervy

It is a reasonable request you have. (In my opinion and I am a guy but not a husband)

It seems that by now, good companies would be flexible enough to not force a married man or woman to train the opposite sex if requested.

Do you mind mentioning what company this is he is working for?

As far as advice, unless two are in a tight spot (and need the extra money immediately) I would say if they force him them leave that company.

Find one that doesnt force him and they would likely be happy to hire him if that is his reason for switching companies.

If he has a problem with that (switching companies) it seems he is more self centered and less aware of his actions or considerate of your feelings than he realizes. Why have loyalty to a company the has no regard for your marriage. (Not likely this request would destroy the company)

Or maybe he doesnt realize how much you dislike the idea. (How it would make you feel.)

Bring it to his attention and ask if the roles were reversed and you were on the road training a man and he was at home would he mind.

For most guys the answer is no. You already know if he would or not. If not there is your strongest argument and leverage to help him understand from your perspective.

"But what if he pretends that he wouldnt mind just so that he can justify training a female?"

Well that would be dissapointing and call for a deeper evaluation of the relationship and outside coaching to strenghten the relationship. (Improve personal growth)

A man who's reason for being on the road is to support family certainly wouldnt turn around and jeapordize the relationship doing something that could actually be worked around unless of course there is lacking in personal development or selfish persuits. (Which is also a lacking in personal development)

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