Learning how to fight loneliness before you experience it will help many people avoid it. If you already experience loneliness, don't worry, I think there are ways to escape and find happiness.
I think loneliness draws from 2 sources. 1. How your spouse (or others) treat you. 2. The balance of the rest of
your life and your perception of your future based on your current
situation, mindset and your ability to develop meaningful relationships.
Entertaining the last source first, here is what I mean....
If you have your own goals that you are working toward and you are satisfied with who you are as a person... (or you are working on that)
....you are less likely to allow the absence of someone else (even a significant other) to have so much of an impact that you feel like you're facing a crisis.
You actually take advantage of the free time to work on yourself and/or your goals.
You also are more confident, self assured, and interdependent. There is no thought in the back of your mind that the person might run off with some else and if he/she does, his or her loss.
That being at the core of your mindset, (subconscious) you appreciate your loved one and desire his/her presence but you don't feel like you are going to die because he/she is not there.
Part of the reason is that (at a conscious level) you have other meaningful things to focus on to occupy the time.
So to summarize in a simple way, the more free time you have, the more loneliness you will experience. Nothing else on your mind but him/her or the presence of a relationships, the more loneliness you will experience.
The ability to form meaningful relationships comes in to play because, if you see people as worth your conversation and you are open enough to speak to them, you will easily meet people. This means that if you are single and wanted to get involved with someone, it is reasonable to assume that you could.
However, if you are someone who is extremely shy. You already know it is harder to form a meaningful relationship and if have stumbled upon one, it is going to be that much more significant for you. Not that it's a bad thing, but your entire life should not be centered around another person. You should have a life of your own.
So if you have taken in the things that I have pointed out here and you see my logic, it also easy to see how to help yourself how to fight loneliness.
Just look at the big picture here. For the person actively engaged in what i have prescribed, they are busy becoming an amazing catch for either the current mate or a future one. (Depending on if you are involved or single)
There is reasonable belief that being by yourself physically or without a significant other is only temporary, therefor, it has little impact.
You might experience the feeling of loneliness on occasion. Valentine watching couples passionately entertaining each other for instance. You don't however face ongoing depression because you are single, or not beside your significant other at the moment.
The way your significant other or other people treat you.
Sadly, many of us don't know how to treat each other in relationships. We often don't choose a person who is compatible with us and we also don't know how to communicate with each other. This could bring on feelings of loneliness too. (Even if you are physically together everyday!) Being apart from each other makes it worse.
What type of person are you involved with? If you're significant other has a problem showing you the same level of interest or passion that you show him or her, obviously, this could contribute to feelings of loneliness.
You should have serious talk to discuss how you feel about the relationship and see how he or she responds.
I got news for ya, if the person responds to a serious conversation about this with (what you want me to do, that's your problem, why are we having this conversation again, I don't have time for this right now, etc) a non concerned attitude like its no big deal. That should tell you something about your spouse and/or your relationship.
(It ain't right, wake up and do something different. Don't know what, I don't know you or the details, but DO SOMETHING.)
If you are convinced it has nothing to do with infidelity and your spouse loves you sincerely, and you think its just a problem with his or her character, personality, lack of ability to connect, then you should see a marriage counselor, relationships coach, or therapist.
(Try to find one recommend by other couples or organizations.)
The Way Other People Treat You
I am referring to a situation where you might not be involved with anyone special. However, the people that you do interact with seem to be simple hello, hello relationships.
This can easily be solved with you working on communicating better with others. You can't wait for others to make conversation last. Get an book or CD and get tips and ideas about communicating better with others. As a matter of fact get How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Self esteem and loneliness may go hand in hand sometimes. If there are some things that you feel you need to work on about yourself (especially if you feel that those things will make you less likely to be able to attract friends or a mate) then you should work on those things, so that your mind is in a better state.
Focus on turning yourself into the person you want to be. You know, lose weight, or learn another skill, or get serious about trying not to curse so much whatever it is that you feel you need to work on, stop putting it off and work on it. You will then stop wondering if those things will keep you from getting along with someone in the future.
Some people don't have to fight loneliness until around the holidays. It's not the holiday's fault, you just end up seeing or talking to other people who are gettingtogether with friends or family and you say to yourself, whoaith me I have no one to celebrate with" or "I will be out here on the road".
Hey calm down man, alot of truck stops will have stuff going on for those guys if they are caught on the road and have no one to chill with. So all you have to do is take a break a one those truck stops trust me, you won't be the only one there. Go practice your people skills and lift your head up. You already know how to fight loneliness you justgot to do it.
Now on a lighter side, (still serious but easier to fix) some people may experience loneliness just because of the fact that they are alone and isolated for such long periods of time while driving to and from destination.
This is a real good scenario for getting a pet to help deal with loneliness. You need to actually love pets! Lol or else you'll just increase your stress level. Dogs (and some other pets) have proven themselves to provide health benefits to humans needing companionship.
Some people need to have a significant other in his or her life like next to them in physical view an arms length away to feel complete.
Most companies now also allow you to take people with to improve the life of a trucker for those who need that level of companionship. You could also get a team driver. (That takes a special kind of person too.) So there you go.
Some people experience loneliness because they lack the ability to make or keep friends. If you find yourself always falling out with your friends or not being about to depend on your friends. It probably is a sign that you need to focus on developing a very important skill. Building Relationships.
People say the life of a trucker is a lonely life. I beg to differ. Sure on a superficial level it is. I mean if you ask will a feeling of loneliness ever enter your mind? Of course it will.
Will it last or is there enough substance available to take your mind away from those thoughts. You need a something within you that has the power to counter those emotions and draw you away and shield you with a more positive way of experiencing life.
You didn't live in loneliness, and if I can do it you can to.
What is your big picture in life, what are your goals, how is your spiritual relationship? Hello, what elseis there going on with you other than holding the steering wheel.
Of for trucker wives, waiting beside the phone.
What are you thoughts, ideas, or comments about the information on this page? Do you have experience with the topic. Can you give additional information? What's your story? What's your insight. What's your opinion? What's Your question? Share them with us!
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