Another Ex Wife of a truck driver

Married the man of every woman's dreams 16 years ago, and by the way, he had been out of trucking for years at the time we met.

We blended our families and with six kids at home, we made the decision for me to become a stay at home mom and I helped to fulfill his dream of becoming and O/O.

At that point, I let my medical career go in support of him and our family. As the kids grew up and began leaving home, I dreamt of us growing old together.

He had such a beautiful Christian spirit! Sadly, as the years have gone by, the nature of this industry, ie...being alone, losing the ability to deal with everyday life beyond traffic and log books (and trust me, I've always commended him for the job he does), and basically forgetting how to converse rather than talking "at" me, has brought us to him filing for divorce.


With 7 grown children and 14 grandchildren, there's always something going on in the family..good, bad, and sometimes ugly. He refuses to face those realities in life and escapes in the truck.

He says he just wants peace, and although I have spared him from the occasional drama that all families experience, he talks to the kids, but won't talk to me. When he is home, he's not "present" and I have been supportive and lonely for far too long.

He told me several years ago that the man I married is gone and is never coming back. I have found some answers regarding this personality change in learning about "Crazy Making Behavior" and "Gaslighting". Passive aggressive/borderline narcissitic behavior and trucking don't mix!

I truly believe that if he had not gone back into trucking and would have lived a more "normal" daily routine with me as the kids grew up, we wouldn't be divorcing now.

His ability to cope with life beyond trucking has become extinct, and I can't deal with the crazy making anymore. I will always be in love with the man I married.

This man, however, is now a stranger. I'd like to express my gratitude for this site as I'm a newcomer...and so appreciate the prayers!

My soon to be ex clearly isn't at peace with his decision, and I believe is battling his own demons right now, so I will continue to ask for prayers!

Thank you again as I appreciate having a place of support!

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Apr 17, 2013
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Lonely NEW
by: Anonymous

You are a brave person to tell how you feel, and express yourself here, I am in my sixties, widowed, and thought I had met the perfect fellow, he loves me dearly, but his first marriage failed because he was gone all the time,he is gone all week for me, comes home late friday night, expecting me to be overjoyed to see him, I feel resentful, and angry. I have never felt this way before, and am sure that I am ruining the relationship...Can someone help me to understand?

Jan 18, 2013
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There are plentyful jobs for people over 50 NEW
by: Anonymous

No excuses here...there are many jobs out there for people over 50. You just need to work a minimum pay job until you find something better and get on your own feet. He may be resenting the fact that he is paying your way which you totally and thoroughly deserve. That is just his brain and you can not change that. Just think you only need to do this for 15 years and you will reap the benefits of his Social Security and what you add to it. Do not sit around keep busy or you will totally curl up into a ball and what will you be worth to anyone then?? Keep Moving!! Peace and God's Blessings :)

Jan 18, 2013
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In response NEW
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your comments and words of encouragement. Yes, I have seen this coming, but have been praying for a different outcome. Apparently God has different plans for me. It's a tough job market, especially for someone over 50. I will continue moving forward with my life as I continue to pray for him (and me!) I strive daily for peace as I fight the emotional pain of what's been lost, yet I know who holds me in the palm of His hand! Thank you again!

Jan 18, 2013
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Sometimes you just have to move on. NEW
by: Anonymous

It sounds like you may have seen it coming. Divorce rate has been at 50% since the 70's. I pray for your courage to leave this situation and the pain you are experiencing. We are moving into new era, and lifestyle changes in order to become healthier human beings. This will be a good start for your well being. Move up and out of the trauma and live a more spiritually based life. You will not regret it. Peace be with you. God's Blessings.

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