by amber

When the very rare moment of boredom slips in I sometimes find myself lonely. Its no lie, it happens. To be completely honest though, I have grown up in this life. My dad still drives and now my husband works for the same company.

We have four children. 8,6,4,and 1, with another on the way. 1 girl in the whole bunch of them! I don't have time for lonely. Between laundry, dishes, school lunches, homework, diapers, and my own full time course work, I barely find time to shower!! No wonder he leaves! lol

When asked how many children we want our answer is typically 2. Years ago when we first got married, he also had a little one (my favorite, no stretchmarks!) We had the children discussion, knew that right off the bat we really would prefer to wait, and wanted on or two more.

Little did we know I was already pregnant at the time! We don't regret them, mostly....there are those moments when one just ripped off the back of the couch we mumble some not so friendly things under our breath.

It is far from easy to live separate and visit occasionally on the weekends, to be honest the money isn't even that grand when you consider how many he supports. But he rarely complains. In fact, I'm the whiner.

Its not money related, more stress based on my situation. I have very little support, my mom says she has been there done that, and no pity really. I had to seek out and hire a village (daycare) to help with the youngest, since the rest are in preschool and elementary.

Momma has to study too, and prop her poor swollen feet up some. Me and the kids are close, they miss Daddy, that first day after a weekend is hard. routines get broke, naps are skipped, and we all have to get back in the swing of things! We had friends looking into this career path, so we must make it look easy, but it was very hard to recommend it.

Local jobs dont pay, require long hours, and his quality of life actually is lower. and in my experience, when the benefit of being together is there every day, you just wont cherish it as much. Little things like holding hands, kissing good night, mean so much more to us.

In a lot of respects we are lucky, he has always been home during the birth of a child, major holiday, we do birthdays whenever, and have a regular meal at the table every day he is at home! Sometimes he even cooks!

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