Trucker in fear of loosing his family

by Devon singleton
(Parkhills mo usav)

How can i turn this around i am a otr long hauler and me and my wife have been together for 8 years and i have been driving for three we have recently had some trust issues simply because i have issues sleeping...

My wife has accused me of cheating and all other sort of things like taking drugs and everything else.

Well about 7 months ago we found out me being tired all the time but when i laid down i couldnt sleep but sotting and o would be asleep in seconds so for three years she thought i had been lying to her about being on drugs and her friend whos husband works with me, witch both convinced her of the same thing because i would get bored of sitting in my house by myself while everyone was asleep so i would kiss my wife and go to my parents.

She would wake up think i was out cheating but i have always and forever will be faithful.

How can we fix the trust here especially when its her friends telling her the the lies because they have something against me.

I almost lost her and my children for good this time she is staying with then at the moment and im not allowed there and i have even showed her all the evidence that i had proving that they had been lying about all of it and now i dont know if i can trust her because she just up and packed and left without any knowledge to me and wouldn't answer my phone calls or let me see my children and she doesn't want to leave the town we live in because the school is wonderful but she still wants to be near her friends.

Please how do i convince her that they are toxic and trying to ruin us how long before the next time and do they convince her of what to get her to do so i just really need help i don't know what to do

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Sep 18, 2020
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How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship
by: Hervy

Let me start by saying this could be seen as harsh. Don't take it that way. It's just being real from the outside OBJECTIVE perspective.

I don't know you are your wife an I hate seeing people struggle in relationships. (Or otherwise)

Something common that either or both parties in the relationship tend to do is only look at things from his/her perspective. That WILL definitely cause problems.

So allow me to give you my 2 cents and not be offended like the rest of American seems to find easy to do. (Get offended by any and everything)

First of all we all judge the situation we are in based on our own past and what is normal behavior to us. So you have to remember that.

When you do something strange, it's not abnormal for the other person to have questions about it. That's not right or wrong, it just is.

It's important to realize this so you can address it adequately.

For example, it's not normal for a guy to kiss his wife goodnight and leave cause he can't sleep regularly. It's not something that should happen regularly.

What should've happen is finding out why you couldn't sleep. And meanwhile finding something constructive to do at home where your wife and kids are. (When you get married, that is primary family, parents come 2nd)

I am saying all of this because you seem to feel like she's over reacting to that. I think you put her in a awkward situation and just expected her to accept it. It should have been corrected.

Here's how we know this is a better idea. How would you have felt if it were her kissing you goodbye and leaving in the middle of the night?

So you might want to acknowledge to her that you should have done it differently.

About being on drugs, it's easy to disprove that. Take a drug test. You might say, "I shouldn't have to take a drug test. She should believe me."

Well, it shows that you are not lying and eliminates that question. That said, you're right, you shouldn't have to take one in a perfect world and no one can make you. You asked for advise.

I would if I were you I would because it is something that can be proven. Where a lot of things can't be. That would be 1 less thing for her to worry about.

By the way, if you're overweight, you might want to get checked for sleep apnea. That will at least provide an excuse and possibly lead to a remedy for the sleep problem.

I don't know what proof you have of your wife's friends or what they were lying about. But the way to START earning her trust is to find out why you can't sleep and show her that you have addressed it. And stop calling her friends toxic (Even if they are).

Also, ask her how can you do better in the relationship. Because there is a reason that she has trust issues and don't believe you. There is a reason that she packed up and left.

If you don't already know then you should ask her how can you do things differently to improve the relationship.

That's on the right path man. It shows you prioritize the relationship and want it to work.

There is no magic or easy reversal. This has been falling apart over time and now it must be put back together with love and nurture.

Her friends input might not help but if you are doing what you need to do there's little room for her to even listen to her friends. Just keeping it real.

Also, if I were you I would ask here to attend marriage counseling with you. They will listen to both sides and give both of you useful feedback.

Obviously, I don't know what contributions she has made to the relationship struggling so I can only give you advice about your end.

So that's it my friend. You just need to SHOW her that you love her and the family more than anything else. Not just words.

You can't control her friends. Your actions and behavior will either make what her friends say seem to make sense or sound silly.

Tell her you want to work on the relationship and what you are doing to make things different on your end. Ask what else can you do to prove that you love her. Then suggest you see marriage counselor together.

Also you can read a book called 5 love languages together.

+++++++++++++++++

Some of the stuff you wrote, I don't understand.

Also, it sounds like you should be saving all of the money that you can so you can get off the road as soon as possible and be at home with your family until the situation is better.

Plus how are you driving if you can't sleep. Don't you get sleepy when you drive?

And I don't really get what you were saying about her liking it there. If you're trying to get her to move to somewhere strange where she will know no one, it's another reason for her to distrust you. Men usually do this to control and isolate to make the woman dependent upon them. (Don't know if you were saying you were trying to get her to move away from her friends or not. Couldn't understand that part)

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