One foot in, One foot out...............
I am just looking for some simple advise on what to expect. (This is a lengthy post to give you history)
I have been with my truck driving boyfriend for about 4 months now. This type of relationship is very new to me. I have never dated a man who is gone several weeks at a time.
Before he came into my life I was content (or so I thought I was). I had ended a 7 year relationship and moved out on my own with my daughter a year prior.
Life was quaint and I was in control. One day out of the blue he came into my life. I spent the first week keeping him at arms length because I really wasn't interested in having a boyfriend and didn't want to go thru the ups and downs of a relationship that would or would not work.
I had been hurt before (divorce and the most recent ending of my 7 yr relationship.
At the end of that week I realized that I really started to have feelings for him and put my guard down. We were having a great time, laughing, getting to know each other. He made me smile and I was experiencing feelings that I had shut down years before. He was bringing me out of my shell.
We spent 3 weeks together and we were inseparable (his truck was in the shop.) After the 3 weeks he was out of the country for a month. During that time we text, skyped - voice and video all of the time. We counted down the days til he returned.
Once he was back home he was here for 1 week then it was time to hit the road. That week was incredible!
We still continue to talk on the phone several times a day. On "normal" days we are making sure we have morning coffee together and continue to talk during my drive to work. We will also communicate a time or two during the day as well as my drive home and also at night after my daughter has gone to bed.
Keep in mind, this is occurring while juggling 2 totally different schedules (I'm in oil & gas).
Since the beginning of our time together I have played the counting game............ meaning, counting down from his return from out of the country, now counting down until his return from being on the road. (With his schedule his sleeping is not our normal 10pm - 6 am, rather, its when time allows and he can or is forced to stop and sleep).
So then I find myself waiting to hear from him. We have passed the mark of days spent together vs. days apart............. the days apart are greater!
The holidays are approaching. There is a huge possibility that he wont be home on Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years............. he was asked by his agent if he would like to work, in which he agreed to do so. He has assured me that I would see him, but that we will also talk more about it when he is home this weekend.
I have told him that I know this is his life and this is his schedule. I know it takes a strong woman to be in a relationship with a Trucker. I think I am strong, but my heart is trying to convince me otherwise.
The free time I have between work and home life is spent with my daughter, at the gym, with friends etc. I have also decided to go back to school in January to further my career.
I miss him so very much and am constantly second guessing if this relationship is going to work or if I should end it now before I get to involved.
I have given myself 6 months before I make a decision. I want to grow stronger and get thru these feelings and constant questioning.
I am open to any advise. Thank you!