True Tales Of Life In Trucking Volume 3
One of the biggest challenges in trucking these days, is finding qualified drivers. There is currently a nationwide driver shortage that effects all motor carriers, and our company is no exception. Applicants are not the problem, applicants you would want is.
Every time I place an advert for drivers, I get a steady stream of people that in their own estimation, are legendary gear jammers, precariously leaning toward “God’s gift to trucking”.
However, upon a routine reference check, some potential new hires fall considerably short, of their own estimation. One recent example of what I consider a hostile employment attempt, took place as follows.
I was sitting in my office with my head down, going through some paperwork, when there was a noticeable decrease in brightness. Enough so, that I looked up to see what had caused the sun to wink out at midday, and discovered that something had the window on my door completely covered. Before I could investigate, the door opened, and in stepped, or possibly more accurate, in ducked, the most immense human being I have ever seen.
Perspective is a little weird when objects are not the size you are used to seeing them. If I had to describe him to the police, which I felt at the time was a distinct possibility, I would say anywhere between 7 and 8 feet tall 4 to 5 hundred pounds, a huge dent in his head, and multiple scars presumably caused by years of engaging in rapacious plundering.
Before any introductions, formal or otherwise, he let me know I could take the advert out of the paper, because he had decided to
accept the position. As he approached my desk producing a smell reminiscent of ass, and cat food, I found myself considering different options available to me in the interests of self preservation.
In the outdoors, I would simply shimmy up a tree, and scream like a little girl until help arrived. With only one exit available to me, and him right in front of it, it was apparent that more thought was going to be required to extricate myself from my current predicament.
You would think that him waving a certificate of completion from an anger management class around like a diploma from an ivy league university, would provide me with some measure of calm because of his obvious rehabilitation, but curiously, it did not.
In an effort to distract him momentarily, so I could feint him out of position, I asked to see a copy of his driving record. Reaching into the pocket of a shirt that made him appear to have been on the losing end of a savage food fight, he produced one.
Upon review, of all 22 pages, I was at a loss. How in the hell can you get a ticket for brigandage? Shouldn’t you just be on death row or something? Did he commit all of his crimes behind the wheel? He had to have offended as a pedestrian at some point.
Ever mindful of my responsibilities as a trusted steward of our company, and my oath to safeguard the integrity of our work environment, I took a deep breath, looked him right in the eye, and said what any manager with strict hiring requirements would……..
When can you start?