The long road of being alone at home.
(Coal Hill, Arkansas)
My husband and I have been married for four years but together for eight. I love him dearly. Two years ago we made the choice together for him to become an OTR driver.
The first year was hard. I was used to him being in bed with me every night and helping me with things around the house and all that. My life CHANGED and boy did it change. I was the one makings all the choices in the house. Second guessing myself every step of the way.
I would call him and ask him what his thoughts were and he said whatever I wanted was fine. Then this last year has been a true killer. When he comes home all he wants to do is go see his mom and his other kids and his friends.
On his four days off we get maybe a total of five hours alone together. I feel so alone during the month that he is gone and even more so when he is home.
I have battled depression because of it. I am doing better but I still need to know that when he is home he loves me and wants to spend time with me. yes I get that he needs to see his other family and stuff but there are times where I just want to be wrapped up in his arms.
When he is out on the road there are times we fight because I get so lonely I go and spend a few nights with some friends. Since I homeschool our daughter she is always with me which isn't a problem and to be honest we both love it.
I however want my husband to understand that when he is home he needs to pay me attention and if everyone else wants to see him they can come to him.
I try to be understanding but it is so hard sometimes. Right now I feel that we are drifting apart and I don't know how to pull him back to me or me to him. This road isn't easy and you have to be a very strong woman.
I refuse to give up and be just another story of how trucking has messed up another family. I will make it some how. I just haven't found my road just yet.