Questions for the experienced kinda long, i'm sorry...
Hi, my husband has been an OTR truck driver since January. I wasn't very fond of the idea. And when he left to go to another state to pick the rig up, I cried. Like a little baby. I didn't want him to go.
We had the PERFECT relationship. Told each other everything. Talked about everything. We each had our own time to relax, then we had our time. I also have two little girls who are not biologically his. My girls used to ADORE him. We have been together for almost 3 years now, married for 1.
So here the problem is:
On July 4th I left my camera at home. And my phone was about dead. So I asked to use his phone to take pictures. He let me, and there was no problem. Well the next day he had to leave out. So I just left the pictures, and would upload them onto the computer when he returned. 3 weeks later when he came home, he crashed. He was tired. Which was ok.
Since I was wide awake, I decided to go ahead and upload the pictures. Well, while I was uploading, a text came through that said "Hey sexy, how are you doing?" and the number was saved in his phone. So they had been talking for a while. I became instantly sick to my stomach. I was incredibly hurt. So I opened the message, and there were very graphic messages being sent to each other. Pictures included.
Heart breaking. Because I don't even get pictures like that sent to me anymore. And I know it may be too much information, but we used to send pics like that almost every day. Skype like that too. I don't even get Skype anymore.
I confronted him about it, and he says he just needs someone to keep him up while he is driving at night. I asked him why not call me. That is what I am here for.
His reply is you are sleeping. you have kids, and the house to take care of, on top of getting up to go to work.
I told him that doesn't matter. I am here for him.
He said that he gets lonely out there. But what am I here for? Isn't that the wife's job? To keep them awake, and to keep them entertained? Well I told him to stop it. right then and there. He says ok. But he left and came home again, and there she was AGAIN!!
I was mad this time. I took his phone and sent her a message saying not to contact him again, he is married.
So what do you know, when I pull up the phone bill there are messages going back and fourth later that day.
I am completely hurt by this. I am losing my husband. The trust is completely gone. When he is home now, he is mad, angry, hateful. My kids don't like being around him anymore. We haven't had sex in almost 2 months, and he says its because of stress.
I think its because he is getting it on the road. I just don't know what to do. We can't do counseling because he isn't home enough. He works usually 3-4 weeks on the off for 2 or 3 days and that is usually on the weekends unless his boss sends him home for the holidays.
I've tried being the betty homemaker. Making myself look as good as possible while he is home. So that he will still be attracted to me.
Have dinner on the table when he gets home, go get his dirty cloths from the semi, and wash them.
Rub his back, and his feet, bring him cold drinks. That isn't even working. Help me please... Any advice?