Preparing for our first baby

by Audrey
(Naples, FL, USA)

My boyfriend is an otr trucker. We are due to have our first baby in early July. There's a big chance that he won't be able to get some home time around the due date. How do I help him prepare for fatherhood when he isn't with me for every big step?

He's very depressed about not being home more and I so desperately want to ease his mind.

Any advice?

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Apr 25, 2016
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Planning ahead for birth of baby
by: Hervy

Congratulations! Its good you are trying to plan ahead.

What I would try I think if I were him, is to talk to the employer about working continuously up to the week prior to expected due date. To see if I could take off the week of and the week after the expected date. Obviously, that is not guarantee because you might not have the baby then.

Other than that though, just communicating regularly about the visits to the Dr or even daily experiences.

If you used video chat it would be even better. Besides keeping him filled in on what is happening with you and the baby you are carrying, be sure to let him know you, you are not resentful for him not being there and you understand it is for the benefit of the family.

Hopefully there is an idea of how he can transition out of driving for a little while so he an spend some time at home during the baby stage. If that is a desire, talk about how to make that happen and plan for it.

The biggest thing if you are trying to keep him from being depressed is to assure him, that you are not mad at him and understand the scenario.

Which is, if he were to just not drive to be around, it means no check. Unless you have plenty stacked away, that is not going to really help any of you. That's the reality of trucking lifestyle.

Now, if he has been driving for a while and you all do have some money saved, he could just take a leave of absences starting a week or so prior to the expected date. Especially if he is not happy at that company. It would be a perfect time to switch jobs.

He could be searching for another job and see if he can he start some time after the birth. Take a leave of absence from the current job or turn in a letter of resignation after he is sure he has another job a few weeks prior to expected date.

Well that is my 2 cents

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