New to this life and not sure how to start

by Old fashion
(SC)

Where do I begin ?? I guess the best is from the beginning I am a parent of 2 wonderful ladies and have spent a lot of time raising them alone.

5 years ago I meet the missing part of my life. He and I have a wonderful life together and everything seemed fine then we woke up one day and he said this isnt enough. I was shocked and didn't understand.

Then he sat with me and explained that the things and life he wanted for us was not within his reach with the job he had. I understood this and listened as he told he his thoughts and ideas.

We live in a small town where jobs are mostly family owned and ran so finding jobs here is a bit of a trick to start with. When he had finished explaining that his idea was to get his CDLS and drive local it all sounded good till all the thoughts about what I knew would have to happen.

I know a lot of truckers some with families some with out but most that are unhappy either way I think that has mostly to do with each persons out look. Either way I knew there was not many ways he could get his CDL with all the new laws and Dot Reg. so we began to look for information.

We found out that most companies require u to attend a school and that almost all jobs local require min of a year over the road ( long haulers).

We then started looking for different schools we looked for things like length of school cost of the program and the distance from home. All of these seemed like good things to look for till we started reading. Then we found that most schools still send u to another place to get a job and they usually send u though their own training course.

All of this seemed a mess finally we found one and he said it was the best for us we planned for his leaving and arranged financial for the long wait.

It happened so fast seemed like time started running before we knew he was on a greyhound driving away.

He has been gone for 3 weeks now seems like longer then that I feel lost without him. We talk each day and that helps hearing him makes me feel safe and I get lost in his voice for the moment we have.

Its hard on our girls for lots of reasons. the youngest has not ever known any other way than with him home at least once a day.

the oldest has my same past we were left by her father and spent a long time just her and i it brings back painful memories of that with him being gone.

I have found that he is much more then just my loving other half he is myself and everything I do. its hard to do anything I feel out of place even things I have grown to know as normal feels like something ive never done before.

I have also come to find out that I thought I had a lot of friends and ppl that were around yet for 3 weeks I have not heard from anyone or seen anyone other the my girls and ppl in Grocery store.

To make things even more odd we moved to a new home 2 weeks before he left which left most of the moving and unpacking to me and the girls its been a lot to get use to.

At times I feel like i'm lost in all the changes like they have happened way to fast. I have tried to find support groups that maybe got together hoping that I would find someone else that was going though something like I am.

If there is anyone that has any thoughts or ideas to help deal with these kind of things plz help I feel as if this is what 3 weeks feel like this year is going to be (( lost for words

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May 01, 2011
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Week nine
by: old fashion(ladyofthehome)

I agree so much with everyone this is definitely not the life for everyone.So many tell me to be strong and it could be worse and its not that long till it makes me crazy to hear.

I know ppl are just tryng to be helpful it just seems like rubbing salt in the wound. I would rather ppl talk to me the same as they did when he was home. Another thing that I didn't think would be a problem as much as it is.

He and I have a lot of male friends mostly separated gentlemen that still come around to visit with my girls and bring their kids but some that are just single ever since he left they all stopped calling and coming by.

Some have said its out of respect to not be at my home when he is not home others just say they haven't had time to. I understand the respect and it wouldn't bother me if he was home more.

I just feel like an out cast I feel it is wrong to lose so many friends. I thank u all for the kind words and hope all others that are home praying for those OTR find comfort in these pages/

I know over the past 2 months I have it helps to log on and to read about others standing in my same shoes.

To those that are regretting choosing this ,I think that goes for most off the road and on the road at some point or another but its the ones that rise above the regret and welcome the gift that a Man and Woman who truly love one another can walk though any path laid before them and come out the other side.

These are my hopes and thoughts and pray each day for them to be right.

Apr 16, 2011
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trucker wife in colorado gives feedback
by: tammy

hi I am Tammy my husband is a long haul trucker he has been every where from LA to Miami. He used to be on the oil rigs. He too came to me and said he would like to get his CDL again. See it expired before we met.

He looked around put in apps and got discouraged. As a truckers wife u must always look for the positive. So I told him if this is what he really wanted to do only he can make it happen.

Yes, it is hard on the kids me and my husband have a total of 6 kids. We have one left at home she is eight. In her eyes Daddy is awesome. she cries yes, that is when I do one of two things. I either call daddy or I start to explain to her y daddy is on the road and y daddy is a trucker.

Yes we miss papa bear. God supplied us with a daddy who provides.

Ps sending a picture thru texting helps alot.

Apr 14, 2011
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keep in touch
by: Anonymous

keep in touch my man found a friend when he was in training that lives in SC and we r ganna be coming that way soon for about a week maybe we can get together for lunch or something. my email is cmhiester@gmail.com

Apr 13, 2011
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Great big hug to all ladies holding down the home front
by: Ladyofthehome

Ty ladies for the wonderful comments it helps to know there is other women out there going though the same. I am sorry to hear that u both are dealing with the the lonly problem to.

I wish there was like a group that was local that supported wives at home with their husbands gone. Whether it be the military or truckers or maybe just odd hr jobs.

Groups that would do like fund raisers for the families that are going though hard times or maybe get together like picnics for the ladies to attend to get them out and meeting other women.

I think that over this next year that's what I am going to spend my time doing.

Maybe then I can help a few ladies roads a little easier to travel with their loved ones on the road.

Apr 12, 2011
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I know how u feel
by: Chrissy

i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have 3 kids together and he left in Nov to get a job with CR England.

It was very hard at first but it isn't so bad now... sure i still miss him and i hate to have to lean toward my family for some help but that's life i guess. I know how you feel about the friends thing I haven't heard from any of our so called friends either but they call him over the road sometimes.

We moved a few months after he left and the kids are young so they still think he lives at our old house and ask me y we moved. it gets better hang in there.

Apr 12, 2011
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missing hubby
by: Anonymous

I can sympathize with you. My hubby said he hasn't been happy for quite some time but never did anything about it of course until he went OTR.

My daughter, who drives OTR, said it is the boredom and being alone on he road that gets people to think about their lives. Keeping in constant contact with your loving other should keep you guys on track.

My hubby is still in his 4 weeks of initial training and now he wants to leave.
I don't know if we will separate but I know we can not afford to divorce because the taxes alone would kill us.

I'm praying for you. I know about the friends part. Hubby has been gone since March 2 and I don't hear from any of our so called friends.

Hang in their kid, I'm rooting for you.

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