new to being a truckers (wife) girlfriend.....

by Connie
(Perry, Michigan USA)

I am a 40 year old woman living with a man who is an over the road truck driver, I have two children from a previous marriage,although they have a father My boyfriend is more thier father then thier own. My boyfriend was an over the road truck driver years ago before he and I met. He has now became an over the road driver once again, this is all real new to me, I have never been alone at any point in my life I have always been married and my husband was always home at night, now I am with a man who is never home. I am not the easiet person to be proud of as a truckers (wife) girlfriend, but I am learning as I go. I know I need to be as supportive to him as I can, although I continue to find my self being selfish, always asking "when can you come home"? "why can you only stay home 8 hours"? or "why can you not stay home longer then over night"? none of it makes sence as to why I can not remember to be as supportive as I know I should be and can be. My man has worked his butt off to give my children (mind you they are not his) and myself a roof over our head, clothes on our back and food in our guts! yet he never complains only talks about how much more he can work to buy us a bigger nicer home to live in. No I that is not fair to him for me to complain like I do and to say things like "you dont need to know what goes on here at home because you are never here". which in turn makes it harder for him, because not only does he have the stress of what he has going on, on the road, I am adding to all that stress with the garbage at home I can and need to handle. I will not lie to any of you, being a truckers (wife) girlfriend is in no way easy, but these men are doing everything to keep our lifes easy.
I guess all I am saying is if you are new to this life listen to those of us who are already going through it,and learn from us. stay true and strong to those men, do you really think that being away from thier family is any easier for them then it is for us? Do you think they like it anymnore then we do? NO, think about it.

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Sep 18, 2016
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Abandonment Issues NEW
by: Anonymous

Wow this isn't easy especially if one has abandonment issues. I feel negative and without self esteem, I feel angry that I haven't heard from him. I'm just trying to stay quiet bc I know all those angry, upset feelings aren't going to be right. I know I have to stay busy. I finally googled "trucker's wife" and found this. I don't even know why I'm so upset, I do trust him, and even I think I'm being irrational. Trying to find some reason in my head. Ugh.

Aug 18, 2016
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Scared new trucker wife NEW
by: Anonymous

Ive heard all about truckers cheating on road cause they r lonely,and my girl says she is only about the money to better our lives,my girl is beatuiful, and im scared to death of lossing her but i support her,but scared she will find someone on the road and forget me..what do i do how do i stop thinking all neg bad things about this i work 14 hrs a day and i always home with her at night,and all she says is i cant wait to get up and go drive and get up out of here,thats what scares me.i love her to death,i never new she wanted this as a kid ,or i would of understood she talks about driving to see the world,she acys like my feel8ng dont matter what to do

Aug 18, 2016
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Scared new trucker wife NEW
by: Anonymous

Ive been in a relationship with my girl (wife) for 11 yrs now,shes a bit femme and she is going to be on the road as a truck driver i support her but we have been fighting about this she trust me at home and i trust her a bit cause she has left me before for 1 yr cause we fought.but now its all about ,she wants me to go but right now we both cant go on road,all she sees is dollar signs,and its all about her,i tell her i dont trust other drivers cause she is a female, and tells me to back off ahes doing this.i want her to do what makes her happy ,how do i deal with missing her and all these thought running that im gonna loose her,shes never cheated on me and ive never created on her but so scared ,im 38 and ahes 40 i judt dont want our relationships over..what can i do she leaves oct 2016

Jun 30, 2016
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New too, and blue NEW
by: Anonymous

Ladies...as a new trucker's girlfriend, I have to say, there is no way in hell I would have a relationship with ANY trucker, unless I was on the truck watching his every move. We met on a dating website, so i expected it. BUT, at the same time, I fell in love. He tells me that he cares deeply, and that he has never loved anyone. I think because he has no intention of taking this serious for a lifetime. My heart is too far in to give up. I started to leave once, but he really cried, and acted like he wanted me to stay. He treats me well, but...I know the temptation is there for him to cheat...I see it in him every day..those wandering eyes. He's done this for twenty years, so there is not mjch hope for change. Perhaps he will fall in love...haha..yeah right...

Jan 08, 2016
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Trying figure things out NEW
by: new

I have been with my Truckers driver Man for 3 years. He did local runs when we met and we moved in together going on 3 years, we haven't had the best relationship at home,trust has been broken, but we try to make it work. He recently got a job going over the road, since alot of the local jobs are very hard to find right now. This is hard for me being home. I know I only see him once a week but it's a big change for me. I'm older now and was looking for someone to be spend the rest of my life with. But I didn't realize that I would be spending it by myself. I know his job is important and it's really difficult and stressful for him. But I feel like I'm not making myself happy with my life too. I do love him. But this is too hard. I don't have kids to take care of at home and my son is in college. I work full time and I do keep myself busy but it gets lonely coming home every night. Just trying to figure out what to do.

Jan 07, 2016
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scared NEW
by: mullanekim9@gmail.com

I'm new too..its hard but I'm in love withis
Man. I just wish I could bring my monkey home... Stop being insecure.. Scared of him leaving... Then he comes home and its all better again. Then he leaves again...crazy...I know I have much more to do thank I for all your support comments ...it helps alot

Dec 10, 2015
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Trucks Drivers NEW
by: Anonymous

Not all but some of these men are disgusting. Most of them are living two different lives. Truck drivers can be nice at first then you date them and they are gone a lot. Honestly, do your research on your man and don't settle for a truck driver they lie and think that they can get away with it because they are on the road a lot. Be careful Ladies!

Dec 10, 2015
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Being truckers girlfriend NEW
by: TammyAnonymous

I have read only one story wife, divorced, with kids by former husband, and your trucker love whom loves the children more.ive been wth my trucker love for a year, it's really difficult, as well he is very good to me, and I also try to be supportive, but sometimes, my mouth has a mind of its own, I guess you always here stories of being cheaters, fast sex, bluntly I'm lucky to get it once a week, and it's not really intimate, so I think crazy stuff, we talk on the phone pretty much the whole time he is on the road, Help

Oct 23, 2015
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My Baby NEW
by: lockslady

My trucker had his eyes on me for a while, I finally one day called him and immediately fell for him,I arranged to meet up with him that next day but decided to go meet up with another guy that was pursuing me. I saw him briefly the day after then he went on the road. We talked on the phone the whole next week he even got me a headset cause I was complaining, it s so sweet he thought of me while on the road, we hook up that next weekend, I moved myself and my the kids in 3 weeks later at his invite, very unusual for me, but I fell in love and couldn't stand the thought of not being here when he came out the road plus I'm 40 and business wise we could help each other, he is the sweetest most loving thing I know and the sex it amazing cause we always happy to see each other, he says we will marry one day soon but I'm in no rush I'm just happy to have such a blessing of a man, I always tell him thank you for loving my whole family as if he been the head of our house hold the whole time. My kids love him and because I was a single mom they used to being home alone with mom so they ask when he coming home and that's that. He wanted a family we wanted a man of the house I wanted love after all my heart break I can't believe he is mine and I'm not worried about no cheating heck I know stay at home dads that have had full on affairs....communication and emotional control is key and I try to never miss a call and I work full time, gotta stay busy.

Jul 19, 2015
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New To Being A Truckers GF~ NEW
by: Anonymous

Well l must say being a truckers GF is something different. I met my man 4 months ago. Understanding that he's away a lot at first made my life and his very difficult. This man of mine is Simply Amazing he's everything that I've wanted in my life and so much more. Communication and Loyality are the two main factors in not just a truckers relationship but a relationship as a whole. As a truckers GF and or Wife its best to keep yourself busy. My man and I have never been married and have no children so traveling and seeing each other all of the time is key. Although, this life is new to me and can be pretty tough at times, my # 1 Priority is to continue to have good Faith and every day keep my man Smiling it's all about the Little Things.~

Jul 06, 2015
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5 months in and still learning..but very happy. NEW
by: jboud1228

I met my trucker on a dating website. Actually he found me. Even though this is essentially a long distance relationship, which I've never done before, it's working. Frankly this is the best relationship I've ever been in and for once I actually see a future with him. We've been together for going on six months and he says I've become his everything. Yes, I hate when he's gone, but I've always considered myself a strong, independent woman so as much as I miss him, it's important for me to be my own person and to not become whiney and clingy and beg him to come home all of the time when that's simply not possible. He was a driver when we started talking to each other so I knew what I was signing up for. He's been working super hard lately and as independent as I am, I've learned to accept it as working toward our future together, and it's becoming a really nice feeling. The biggest thing I've learned is that it truly does take a strong and emotionally secure woman to be a trucker's girlfriend/wife. It takes someone who doesn't fall apart at the seams every time he has to leave and someone who doesn't need him around all the time just to prove that he genuinely loves you. I also learned that they need to hear (or read if you text) that you love and support them every single day. They need to know their missed without feeling guilty about doing their job. And they need to know you have a good head on your shoulders and can take care of yourself while they're away. I'll admit to getting a little impatient when I know he's definitely coming home, but being crazy and freaking out when they don't call when they say they will or don't make it home the exact day they plan doesn't help anything. Once you've established all of that, then it's all pretty much smooth sailing from there. He's not going to be driving cross country forever so the both of us do see light at the end of the tunnel. But like George Harrison sang, it's going to take time...and patience.

May 18, 2015
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sad all the time NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been married 28 years. 21 of those an OTR Truckers wife, about 6 years ago I could feel things changing between us.I begged him to come off of the road that I felt things starting to feel different. He is still on the road. I empathize with the woman that stated all they talk about is finances and where are you babe? I'm so Sick of this life I could scream! I feel like I'm put on a shelf for 2 or 3 weeks, than dusted off when he comes home. I'm lonely I raised 3 kids by myself. We had one that needed serious help. Subsequently we are raising her son. I'm so tired and lonely I just cry and want to give up.

Apr 29, 2015
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Is it really worth it ladies? NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been with thi8s mn for 13 yers and he decided to go back out on the road... When he gets to Laredo, Texas he picks a fight? why, because the whores flow freely down there and we don't talk for a few days... Just the way he likes it. I'm learning to not be so stupid and have decided to end the relationship after 13 years ans getting an STD disease... Dumb FR's forgot to wear a condom but I would not have known about his cheating ways otherwise. Listen up ladies, the WHORES are everywhere and will give a hand job for $20 bucks and so on..

Apr 20, 2015
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Emotional Truck Driver Girlfriend NEW
by: Anonymous

I met my current boyfriend on a dating website. We hit it off instantly. I told him my story and he told me his. During our first conversation on the telephone, he immediately wanted to take care of me. So, he paid my three months behind rent, all utilities, attorneys fees, and now continues to pay my everything, including food. What's missing? HIM. His arms, his kisses, our talks, my hand running thru his hair. I'm always texting him sweet messages and sending sexy cute pics, uplifting him, building up his confidence. I'm lucky to get a phone call every two days. He's always busy or scared he might get caught on camera talking on the phone, even listening to the radio. He's visited twice. I give him great h++d, and he leaves smiling. What type of man does this? Should I be looking at this relationship as an arrangement or love?

Feb 11, 2015
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hang in there NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been with my trucker for 2 years now. Its hard at times, but we make sure to talk morning and night. He will text me through the day as he can. And we make the best of the weekends, and make every minute count (even if that means lacking the sleep)!! Sure its a bummer when he can't make it home as planned, but we try not to make set plans that are able to be broken. Then there is no disappointment. It takes an independent woman to be with a trucker, I am learning as I go. But life is short, if you truly love him, you will make life as quality not quantity. I have 3 kids that keep me busy through the week, this helps. When something needs fixing in the house, and it cannot wait, I call him and ask him to walk me through fixing, it helps him to feel like he is helping out even when he is on the road. We facetime, he chats with the kids during the week. I map out his route and watch the weather he travels towards.
It is getting easier. I bake and cook large meals during the week to send with him the following, I make it work. I love him with all my heart, and I support him. This is what they need to come home to. Knowing there is a woman that supports them and is as involved in there job as they are. I do his paperwork during the week. I cheer him on. Like I said, life is short. I pick my battles, if its not going to change our life or our happiness, why fight about it? We rarely fight, and our communication has to be on the ball, or bets are off.
Ladies, a happy man doesn't stray, no matter how lonely the road is. Find a way to find happiness, or this lifestyle isn't for you. Trust, support and understanding is key to any relationship, more so in a long distance or truckers life. If it means enough to you, you can make it work. Involve him in every day. Have him help the kids with homework over the phone when he is parked. PICTURES, and lots of them! I get a pic of every load he carries, so I also feel involved in what he is doing. He gets a pic of my pedicure, or my teenage daughters hair in the morning.
Its not always easy, and I am not trying to be bossy, but these are the things that help me and make it work for us. You have to develop your own rituals and habits to make your life work! Good Luck to you all, and drive safe drivers!

Sep 21, 2014
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New to this life style NEW
by: Anonymous

Me and my boyfriend have been together a little over 2 year he just recently started otr driving. He is in training and will be gone for 2 months...we were together every day up until now. He even took me with him to orientation. Now I work and stay at home with his son. It's hard laying down at night without him. But we talk all through out the day and I always know where he is and where he is going. Staying faithful to him isn't a problem I just get a little lonely without him. I miss everything about him...we are always sure to say goodnight and ours love yous..but it seems to be getting a little harder.

Aug 09, 2014
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Scared to be a truckers girlfriend NEW
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend is just starting the second week of trucking school, I'm so dreading this. I've been married twice, first husband passed away, second marriage just didn't work out. My boyfriend moved to where I'm from, so we wouldn't have a long distance relationship, thanks to false on line ads for available jobs, he never could find a high enough paying job, he has child support. Here, enters trucking school, I'm so worried that we will be able to survive the year of OTR. We're hoping after the year, he can find something in state. I know he's probably going to love it. I'm the one dreading this.

Jul 31, 2014
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Fighting NEW
by: Truckers Girl

Hello,

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years. We love each other very much and are planning a future together. He started driving otr about 8 months ago and he loves it. I've gone with him and we are planning another trip together his next trip out. I love that he is happy and he is doing this in order to make a life for us. There is nothing for jobs where we live so this was kind of the best option right now. My issue is when we argue or fight, he will ignore my calls and this really hurts me. I know I do start a lot of the arguments do to stress and missing him so much but when he ignores me it makes me feel so distant from him and I feel myself fading further away. I have been working on not being so stressed and trying not to cause as many fights but I don't know why he had to ignore me afterwards. :( he is such a great boyfriend, he has been there for me through everything and he takes care of me. I just wish there was some way to get across to him that it hurts when he hangs up on me and ignores me. I've tried telling him this many times but he still does it. Please help? Advice anyone?

May 28, 2014
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new to otr truckers gf NEW
by: Anonymous

Just started dating a otr truck driver it's very hard already we was together every day now this is the first time we will be apart .How do you learn how to trust them and to be completely supportive he loves what he does but how do you cope with him being gone

Mar 03, 2014
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Being a trucker's girlfriend NEW
by: Shay

Well I've been with my trucker for about 4 months. When we first started dating everything was good, but when we started being in a relationship with each other, things started to change. When he was with a few trucking companies, he would call me just about everyday, that always put a smile on my face. He quit his job at IWS (safety reason) and has been out of a job for 2 months. When he was unemployed, he barely calls me, I be the one doing all the calling, we argue over his actions and of course he points fingers at me and make excuses. I thought things would get better when he started a new job last month, he didn't bother to tell me he got a interview and the job, it took me to calling him to find out, yes I was happy because he needed a job fast. He started calling me a few times at first, then it stop, and everytime I call him he barely answers the phone, but when his family and friends call him, he answers for them. I feel like he doesn't want to be in this relationship. I feel lonely and unattractive and don't matter in his life anymore. Someone please give me some good advice on what I should do.

Sep 18, 2013
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Scum NEW
by: Chrissy

Men are men and they are going to get some whether its flirting masticating or cheating. There are whores out at those truck stops so don't for one minute think your man is not open for that or fantasizing-- don't marry a driver that's on the road

Jun 20, 2013
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Liar NEW
by: Anonymous

For the woman who's man is telling her is texting and talking to other women to pass the time. Come on you know better. Where did he meet these women? Why do they make time to talk to him at all hours? What man would you make time fir in the middle of the night? You know what he is doing ! Don't live in denial! You need to put your foot down! If you don't it will only get worse!!

May 01, 2013
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future trukers wife NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been with my future husband now for two years and it is a lot different than being with someone who is home every night. I have struggled with this since we meant but I love him and who he is. he has always called me any chance he can and to the many people who feel truck driver always cheat I don't agree its not fair to the many loyal truck drivers out there that look forward to coming home to there wives and families and they take being gone just as hard as us wives/girlfriends do. I feel no matter how hard days or nights can be sitting at home alone if u truly love that man u will make it work. yes I have my days that I hate it but I always try to remember all the reason I love my trucker. mine has one of the biggest hearts around and has been here for me through a lot and has taken on providing for me and my two kids as they where his own kids and when I see him with my daughter it makes all the nights that hes gone so worth having what time we do have together.

Jul 18, 2012
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trying NEW
by: luckys girl

I am recently new to being a truckers girlfriend. When he graduated I was so proud of him. They had him to leave for dallas texas the week after. When he was up there he called me at least five times a day but now its maybe one call a day. i cry sometimes when i come home and he is not here. We have two children together. its so hard. Please help me to understand.

Jul 18, 2012
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trying NEW
by: lucys girl

I am recently new to being a truckers girlfriend. When he graduated I was so proud of him. They had him to leave for dallas texas the week after. When he was up there he called me at least five times a day but now its maybe one call a day. i cry sometimes when i come home and he is not here. We have two children together. its so hard. Please help me to understand.

Dec 02, 2011
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Sad and lonely Mother and child NEW
by: Anonymous

We were in love at one time but yeah-I am raising our beautiful boy by myself. Had to marry my parents, they love him (our son) but I want a man who is present.. What is with these guys. They can be selfish and money driven. Think of themselves as strong for being able to detach themselves. It is no attribute-it stinks. I am sad and lonely and our son wonders where his dad is??? He is six. Just Lord, my God, send me someone loyal like me who won't take me for granted. To make matters worse, he is a Momma's boy and when he comes home to Jersey he would rather see his Mommy first and sleep over there.

Jan 19, 2011
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Good luck
by: Anonymous

Put up with it for almost 20 years .always by myself with the kids did everything for him &kids .Raised kids by myself .Going threw divorce now.Tired of being alone everything was abot him .wont do it no more.

Nov 11, 2010
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Being a truckers girlfriend
by: Anonymous

All I can say is there is alot of suffering in being with a trucker. Never there when you need them can't plan anything with them. One is pretty much living the single life with a trucker. Doesn't help if there are trust issues either...they can get away with anything otr. Only speaking from my experience. Give you gals a lot of credit. I can't put my life on hold and have mainly a phone relationship. Good luck gals!!!

Nov 08, 2010
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Feeling alone
by: Kate

Hi there!
My name is Kate and I have been married for 9 years this May. My husband started with the Truck driving business two years ago and it is really beginning to pay a toll on our marriage. When we talk it is only about finances or where his next stop is....
He recently began feeling that I was pulling away and started to talk and text to other women during the day and night...
What do I do? He tells me he loves me and that he was doing it to pass the time.....any feelings about this???
Thanks

Jul 27, 2009
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welcome ;)
by: Jennifer S

Hi Connie ;)

welcome to my world, I am the same age as you, only I bring 4 kids to my marriage of 6 years. When Keith and I met, he was not a driver, and believe me when I say that it was not easy when he began to do so. As I sit and type on this computer, I am sitting in a truck stop in Richmond Virgina, riding along with my husband for the week-- HOPING to be home by Friday. My children thank god, range in age from 20-11. So when I want to go, my 20 year old will watch her younger siblings for us.

Despite all of the advise I give to other wives, I can assure you, it is no easier to use the advise that I give, than it is for anyone else! Its so hard to be supportive when you are miles and miles away, and weeks away from just 1 more kiss! My hat is totally off to you ladies with OTR husbands, that is so hard, and its something I know intimately now, which I did not before. He worked regionally, and i liked that! He is now OTR, and home only every other week-end...Rough for sure. But it is nice to go along with.

Try very hard to set yourself up with the availability to do so if you have not yet. it is a once in a life time experience, and it will tell you, and teach you more, than you can possibly imagine.

Again welcome to the site,

Jen

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