Never thought I could do this??
I have been a OTR truck drivers wife for 2 1/2 years now. We have only been married 2 1/2 years. I was even teaming with him for a period of six months until the accident, I broke both my wrists and haven't worked since.
That was a year and a half ago. I totally believe he is cheating on me and has had someone else in his life from the beginning. He loves women and he loves to talk. At first like I have read, he couldn't stay off the phone with me.
Now if we talk ten minutes in a day, I am lucky. Yet, he has a cell phone with unlimited talk and texting and goes ballistic when I say, oh we can cut back on our phone minutes because we talk so little anymore. He totally freaks out over that.
We only see each other 3 1/2 days out of a month. Yes, only approx. 42 days a year, This make for a horrible relationship.
Also he NEVER, tries to get another job and of course I am blamed for that. Also his other excuse for us not talking is, no reception and he is too busy. He is a trainer, but he also gets 10 hours off a day too. And he is sitting a lot also.
I don't know if it would have been easier or not to have been a truck driver. It has caused its problems now that I am not out there. When we talk he acts like I have never seen anything out there or know anything and talks to me like I am a new person.
He also tells me how he has left me voice mails and texts, of course I never received them and I say to him he is mistaken wrong person. This gets him really mad.
He doesn't really care what goes on in my life anymore and honestly if we got a divorce it wouldn't be any different than what we are going through right now. We fight and argue ALL the time. This is the first time that I have shared what I have been going through and I see the other writings and have compassion for them too.
I do not see an answer for us. Lately I have really decided in my heart that I need a life outside this home. I don't do other things and I rely on my husband to at least have an interest in me, but I don't believe him anymore and really do not believe that he cares at all what I do.
I have no idea what to do. We have tried counseling, and he doesn't do anything they suggest, so I have given up. He says I am full of nothing but psycho babble and doesn't want to hear anymore from me about what I believe the problems are.
So I have totally shut down and really do not care any longer. If he doesn't want a divorce, which is beyond me, I won't get one. And if one day he does then so be it. I have never been this unhappy in my life.
I waited 13 long years for this! A husband who is never here and has better relationships and wants those with his students. He actually knows more about his students than his own wife and even cares to know about.
I tell him that if I was in an accident he would be the last one they would call if at all. We are broken and I do not know if we can be fixed. :(
Actually I believe he may be talking to and even seeing his ex wife but he denies everything and again blames me for everything.
Signed Totally Shut Down.