Move to another state with OTR bf??

by Vee
(Tx)

I been with my bf for 2 years, we each have a child from previous relationships but he lives in another state.

He came back to our hometown to get the experience and license to be an OTR driver. Now he's already got his 3 year experience but we signed a lease for an apt which will be ending this year.

He says once the lease is up he wants to move back to his home state so he can be closer to his daughter. I have my stable good paying job and am attending college.

He wants me and my daughter to move with him but a little iffy because we have had good and bad times, even has a miscarriage.

Should i drop everything and move or try to convince him to stay a little longer?!

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Mar 04, 2018
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Vee NEW
by: Anonymous

He insist that he move to his hometown to be near his daughter but what i dont understand is he’s never home so that means that i would be moving to a whole different state so he could be near his daughter just a few days out of the month while im stuck there with no family or friends, possibly leaving my job and school behind and have to really depend on his income. It does not sound right only bc he will never be home. He gets paid really good here and pay would be less even for him over there, i also already have bills on me which could mean that i could even lose what i have if he does not step up if i move with him. What do you guys think? I love him so much and would not want to leave him but at the same time hes not giving me a chance to finish school. He has already been here for 5 years, his daughter is now 6 so he has not been involved for that long, whats the rush now?

Feb 27, 2018
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No NEW
by: Anonymous

No no no no no

Feb 27, 2018
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Should you move? NEW
by: Anonymous

No, finish school. My wife is a university graduate and a stock analyst and advisor for corporate investments. She asked me similar questions that you're asking, when we decided to marry. I said, I'm an OTR driver, so I can live anywhere and it won't affect my job. We can live anywhere you think is best for your job that you worked so hard to qualify for.

Feb 27, 2018
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Move with boyfriend? NEW
by: Anonymous

Stay where you are and finish your education, then relocate to where the money is, not where he tells you to. Your child depends on you to make wise choices.

Feb 26, 2018
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Please Finish College First
by: Hervy

Vee this is very easy for me. I have no emotion in it. My thoughts based on similar and related scenarios is to finiah collge where you are at least before you move....if you move.

Complete your own goal of college degree...since it is specific and definitive. Maybe other goals can be softened. But this one improves your value to the marketplace and helps you become more independent.

If you move at least you will have that if things dont work out.

If he pretends he cant understand that then to me its a red flag. Either he is selfish or intentionally trying to make you dependent or lacks thinking skills.

He should want to see you do well for yourself and your child whether he is in the picture or not. Unfortunately that might not be a common perspective or one that comes to mind first but it is should b.

After you point out a desire to finish and why though he cant help but see it. To pretend that it doesnt make sense is fishy.

Please finish school. Save money FOR YOU OnLy for the move. And check the economy and job scene where you will be moving to after school.

That will give you time to feel him out better. Get insight on his character and long term goals. See how serious he is about the relationship. Plus...if necessary pick up additional classes for the types of jobs available in the area.

I would suggest this if there was never issues in the relationship. Since you said there were ups and downs i would say it's down right foolish is you jump up and move too quickly.

Your first responsibilty is stability not relationship. Or relationship with your child not him. Which means not being dependent on him.

If you move too early that can happen easily.

Thats my 2 cents.

Also please dont sign a lease with him at his home. Its his spot you shouldnt be financially liable.

If he stays there with you, and you both sign thats a different story but you might make sure you can afford it if he bails.

Since its temporary i would go skimpy as possible until school is over so you dont throw money away.

Also make sure you are on the same page with the relationship before getting pregnant. And on the same page about money, parenting style, and even where to live long term if that matters to you.

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