Listen to my story and tell me what you think ladies.

by Kristen
(Los Angeles, CA)

Hi everyone,

I'm 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He has been training in school to become a trucker and has been scouted by a major trucking company already and starts his extern-ship in January.

He came to me and discussed recently that he wanted to do cross country, with a partner, which is higher pay. He told me he wanted to make a lot of money at first so he can buy a house and what not.

We have a relationship where we respect each other and support one another's decisions. I recently have been struggling with completely accepting this.

I mean, we can go days without seeing each other because we live in different cities, and then be close like we were never apart, so I'm not worried about that too much.

I also like the idea of not having to shave for a couple of weeks, or looking real cute (haha), but honestly, i am thinking about long term.

I'm really starting to think about the big picture now that this is all really happening. Do I want to say my vows to a man that will be gone most of the time for the rest of my life?

Will I resent him for being gone when our child needs to be rushed to the ER? Will I over react if he doesn't act overly excited to see me when he gets home and decides to plop himself on the couch all night?

He is a good man, and he has a lot of integrity. I know he would be a good husband and father, but I really need to know how you trucker wives really feel about being married to someone who is never home.

Also,
1. I am curious as to how much a trucker makes.
2. I also get scared alone at night, how do you cope?
3. Are they gone most holidays?
4. Whats up with these "lot lizards"

Thanks!

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Jan 29, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		A lil' bout my experience cont NEW
by: Anonymous

All in all if you're a tough gal & you love your man then you'll be ok. This life isn't for everyone, but it works fine for some of us & there are plenty of us who are moms taking care of/ raising kids all by ourselves (almost like a single mom) but we make it work. It's just like anything else in life, you just have to make it work. My husband is the only other man in this world that I love & respect more than my daddy & my brothers, I know he does this job to take care of his family & it isn't easy on him either. All these ?'s you have for yourself...well I'm sure he has some concerns of his own. My husband doesn't like to be away from me & the kids, but sometimes you do what you have to for the ones you love, even if it isn't easy.
Jan 29, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		A lil' bout my experiance. NEW
by: Anonymous

My husband drivers OTR, but is home most weekends (depends on if he drives a hazmat load or not). We have 2 toddler daughters. I don't get mad when I have to take them to the hospital in the middle of the night all by myself. It happens & it's not his fault. Driven truck is his dream, all the men in his family have or still drive truck. He supports our family financially & puts me through college. It wouldn't be fair for me not to support his dreams when he supports mine. I use to get upset when he would come home & sit on the couch & watch t.v. all weekend, but that's because we have 2 little daddy's girls who crave his attention on the weekends. I understand he is mentally drained from being the road for so long, so now it doesn't bother me so much as long as it isn't all the time or all weekend...you have to find a balance (both of you together). It isn't easy being a truckers wife & I'd be lyin if I said it was, but if you love him it's worth it. My husband tried to find a local job, but they didn't pay enough. HE makes decent $... it's not a fortune & it wont make us rich, but it pays the bills & then some (keeping in mind his "road expenses). He does well though because he has his hazmat endorsement & those loads pay higher then most. He works for a family owned & operated company so he get paid by the load not the mile (which isn't always the best way to go), but they pay him good ($1700 for one hazmat load). Someone else on here said teams isn't usually good idea & I'd have to agree. He ought to go another route, I'd say. I use to get scared home alone at night by myself too, especially with 2 little ones, but you get use to it & it really isn't all that bad. I feel like a lot stronger of a person now than I every did before. This job will test you (& him) that's for sure...but not only did it make me stronger, it made our relationship stronger. It's hard on the kids sometimes, but they're ok & they understand daddy has to work. Because my husband works for a smaller family company he is home most holidays, but not always & birthdays get missed too. They try to have home if they can , but it doesn't always work out....however if there is a family emergency they will always get him home asap which is great. They brought him in off the road early this last week because he is going to be gone for 3wks this time & they wanted him to have an extra day with us...so that was nice. It just really depends on the company on that one. "Lot Lizards" are a joke. Most of 'em you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole & no self respecting man would either. Any man can cheat if he wants no matter what the job, but if yours is a good one he will take care of himself till he gets home to you, even if he "gets lonely". Women do it just like men do, so don't think just because he is a man he is more prone to have an affair...it doesn't really work that way.
Dec 31, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Loving a trucker NEW
by: Anonymous

My guy is a OTR trucker.I quit my job in Jan.2011 and went on the road with him.I have seen and been many places.I have been to 46 of the lower 48.It is not a easy job.Most people think all truckers do is sit in there trucks and talk dirt on the CB's and invite lot lizards on there truck.But,that is far from the truth.Not only do they do gobs of paper work,sit at shippers,have to put up with other jerk truck drivers,and smelly crowded truck stops,they have a lonely life without there families.So I know how they live.But,I know what you are going through.I missed my guy so much I quit my career to be with him and live this hard life right beside him.I just got out of trucking school and I am leaving to join him as a team driver in a week.So it is all that you make of it.I ahve heard many stories on divorce's and families spliting up because of this hard life.But,it greatly depends on your relationship and the love you and your trucker have for one another.Communication is the biggest key in any trucking relationship.Be strong and love your man.
Dec 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Know what you're getting into...... NEW
by:

I have been with my husband for 10 years, and 9 of them have been with him on the road. At first, it was a difficult decision to make. I have kids of my own, and he has kids that live with their mom. The biggest thing for me was the time missed being an involved parent. But after this many years, I've seen that for the most important things (hospital trips, etc.) he rushes right home. Since he works for a local company, they are very family oriented and understand family emergencies. You will have some problems if he gets hooked up with a big corporate company, mainly because they see truck drivers as a dime a dozen, and there is someone always willing to take your spot for less money that you're getting paid.

As far as being lonely, it really depends on the kind of person you are. If you need to have your partner with you a lot, or a "high maintenance" kind of lady, this is most likely a bad idea. Really after time, you get used to the schedule, and learn to plan your live (family events, etc.)around when he's home. We talk on the phone several times a day, and we are the last person each of us talks to a night before bed, and the kids all know the can call or text Dad anytime day or night.
As far as pay, it depends on where you live, how far you're willing to travel, and whether you work for a big company or a small one. My husband brings home (net) anywhere from $400 to $750 a week, and that's after taxes, insurance he carries, and his child support. So obviously there is money to be made, just remember if he drives over the road, a portion of that money will have to go towards what we call "road money" - money for him to eat, medicine if he needs, cleaning supplies for in the truck, laundry, etc. Basically on the road living expenses.
It's a very personal decision to make, but I hope this answers some of your questions. Oh, and lot lizards...yeah they are prostitutes that hang out at truck stops (and like places), and yes they will approach driver's doors looking for a john. And I'd be stupid to think men don't get lonely out on the road and take them up on it, but it's no different that the prostitute that's downtown. If your man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. Don't every let anyone tell you it's because they just got too lonely. Any man worth his salt (in a relationship)will either keep it zipped until he gets home, or he'll give himself a hand. As far as the girls out there......just remember there wouldn't be "lot lizards" if there weren't guys who paid for it.
Take care.
Dec 15, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Our relationship... and advice for the trucking lifestyle
by: Anonymous

Well I am not a lady. I am a truck driver. I no mine and my wifes relationship got stronger. When I come home its like all I want to do is be with her and the kids. The Kids get my time in the day and mama at night.

The only time my wife hated when I came home was during deer season cause I would come home and off to the woods I would go. So while I was away she went and bought her a rifle so she could go hunting and now the kids hunt to.

If your man is anything like me, I talk to each and every person in my family every night and my wife is the one who wakes me up because I sleep so hard I can't hear an alarm clock but I can hear the phone go figure.

The pay is great as long as you get with a company who realizes without their drivers there wouldn't be a company.

I have seen people who run regional that make more money than over the road. I haul all 48 states. I noticed your bf wants to drive teams. Well me, I refuse to drive teams because I want to get home to my family I don't want to be waken up because our truck is turned on its side or worse not wake up at all.

Teams are go for people that know each other as if they knew their mom. I would only drive teams with my dad or wife if she drove and that's it.

See a lot of people just look at the money they don't think can I trust this person with my life to get me home.

Tell him to stay away from flatbeds to. Yes they make a little more money, but they don't tell you you may have a load in Chicago in the middle of a blizzard and you have to get out tarp and fold a frozen tarp. Or you are in Arizona when it a 120 degrees and you have to do the same thing.

Its not worth the tarp fee companies pay.

Lot lizards don't worry about them. Most of them look like hell anyways, and if he has any self respect he won't want to mess with them anyways.
Dec 15, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		experienced trucker wife shares how the truckers life can get better
by: shelly

Hello and welcome to the club. I'm not going to sugar coat it for u but It's not easy being a truckers wife. You will get very lonely and depressed.

You need to find a support system someone who knows what you going through. Like me. My husband has been a trucker for 3 years now. His first job was with prime. He was gone 2-4 weeks at a time and home for 2 days and his checks were only 300 A week.

He is now working for a company that is based like 10 minutes from where we live. He leaves Tuesday and is home by Sunday. His checks are triple from prime. Pay depends on your experience and how many miles u have under your belt.

A lot of companies pay per mileage.

Lot lizards are prostitutes that hang out at truck stops and knock on drivers doors and ask if they want some fun. If your bf is anything like my husband that is their dream is to drive big truck.

I supported my husband and it would have been selfish of me to stand in his way of fulfilling his dreams.

Be proud of his accomplishments. Hang in there...I'm here for you. Shelly

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