LIfe as a Trucker's Wife is What You Make It

by Suzy
(Chatsworth, CA)

My honey is asleep upstairs right now. He got home at 4:30 AM this morning and he's leaving again at 1:00 AM tonight. I was aware that he got home because the dog woke me up when he started barking and took off down the stairs.

Scott was dirty and smelly (don't worry, not THAT dirty or smelly) and dog tired, but it felt pretty nice when he climbed into bed and cuddled up next to me.

I've been sick the last few days with a stupid cold, so the house wasn't very clean, but he pretended not to notice. I let him sleep until noon, while I went to the store and cleaned the bathroom. He woke up to hot coffee and pancakes.

It used to drive me crazy that he would just rotate through the hundreds of channels on the TV. I mean, COME ON, just pick one and watch it! But now it amuses me.

He settled on a documentary about some serial killer. I shared some trivial fact about truckers and serial killers with him and said the only cereal he was killing had milk on it. :)

I should say that I was disappointed this weekend. He was supposed to be home in time to go to a potluck with me last night. It's a monthly event and he hasn't been able to quite hit it yet.

First he told me he would be there, then he called an hour later and said he spoke too soon, there was one more load and he wouldn't make it until today. It made me sad, that's a normal emotion, and he said he was sad, too. But I knew I'd see him today and that put a smile back on my face.

Sunday night is family dinner night, so my adult son will be here, as well as my teenager. We are having Shepherd's Pie and roasted Brussels sprouts. Then I'll have him do all the heavy lifting, like putting the new water bottle on the cooler and taking the donation box to the car.

He always makes a face when I tell him he's my hero, but I know he never gets tired of hearing it. Then I guess we'll watch a little more TV. It's a simple life, but it's a nice one.

Life is really too short to fuss or fight about things that I can't change. I wish he were home more, but I accept this is the life of a trucker. Maybe he'll make it home next weekend, hopefully for Saturday night this time. But if he doesn't, I know he's thinking of me and missing me, too.

I've read so many things on this board that break my heart. Ladies, if your man is a kind and gentle guy like mine, give him a break and let him feel like you love him and appreciate him.

If he doesn't treat you right, get help. Get counseling, hopefully together, but at least by yourself. And don't let yourself be abused. I read a book about people who had all been married 50 years or more and one thing they said about making a marriage work was that anything can be worked through except for the 3 A's: Abuse, Adultery and Addiction.

If he is abusing you or cheating on you, get help and, if necessary, get out. But if he's not, if he's just trying to make a life for you and your family, try to meet him halfway and let him feel your love. You'll be surprised how far a little sugar will go.

I'm new here, so feel free to say hi. I'd like to get to know you all better. Not everyone understands our special lifestyle, but it can be worth it if you invest generously.

With love,
Suzy

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Aug 30, 2012
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Thank you NEW
by: Miranda

Thank you so much for this inspiring message. My husband is about to go to work for a copany he just got his cdls. Hes only doing it because he wants to better our family, We have just been married for a year but been together for 5 years im gonna miss him so much but i know he loves me and our son i hear all these bad stories of there husbands cheating and i get super nervous but i know my husband loves me and we have been through so much together i dont think he would ever do it not only that i strongly believe that if he did and i found out i would take our son and leave as he would to, as im reading through this website im starting to see not all truckers are cheaters. my husband has been working dead end jobs to support us and i know that this will make him and i happy im feeling really bad for our son too he just turned a year and i want him to be able to adjust well thank goodness for skype and thank goodness for your words i honestly think what you wrote just gave me the courage

Aug 30, 2012
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Thank you NEW
by: Miranda

Thank you so much for this inspiring message. My husband is about to go to work for a copany he just got his cdls. Hes only doing it because he wants to better our family, We have just been married for a year but been together for 5 years im gonna miss him so much but i know he loves me and our son i hear all these bad stories of there husbands cheating and i get super nervous but i know my husband loves me and we have been through so much together i dont think he would ever do it not only that i strongly believe that if he did and i found out i would take our son and leave as he would to, as im reading through this website im starting to see not all truckers are cheaters. my husband has been working dead end jobs to support us and i know that this will make him and i happy im feeling really bad for our son too he just turned a year and i want him to be able to adjust well thank goodness for skype and thank goodness for your words i honestly think what you wrote just gave me the courage

Aug 29, 2012
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encouraging post thank you NEW
by: Jan

even though we are 62 and just getting started with this lifestyle (after 28yrs together), your post is very encouraging. thank you for you lovely perspective!

Jun 28, 2012
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Just Lovely NEW
by: Rose

Your post here is just lovely & I mean that with all sincerity. As I read it I sat here & chuckled at how similar my life is to some of the things you posted, except I'm 26 & he's 27 & our kids are toddlers. My darling husband also flips through every channel insistently before finally settling on a similar type of program. It use to drive me absolutely up the wall, but now it's cute & almost comforting even. Also as you stated it's so nice when they coming crawling into bed no matter how dirty or smelly they are. Just being able to feel their presence is amazing isn't it.

I love my husband so much & he is such a good guy. He is sweet & caring, considerate, a jokester with really bad dry humor (cute though), & an amazing father to our 2 young daughters. They just adore him & so do I. My husband & I have been together for 5 yrs now. I knew from the first time I met him he wanted to drive truck & was totally against it. Wow how things change. At first he drove local...then regional...now OTR. LOL....Funny how things work out. He started missing us being gone so long & he starts a new job next month.It's regional, but he will be through the house 2-3 times a week & dedicated home by Friday not out again till Sunday night.

You know, even though I wasn't all that supportive in the beginning there was no way for me to not have a change of heart. For most of these guys out there doing this job driving truck, well they just couldn't imagine doing anything else & to try & make them would be like caging a tiger. My husband loves his job. He gets to go different places all the time, see different things, meet different people...it doesn't & couldn't ever compare to the average Joe kind of job for him. As his wife I respect that. He loves me & he loves his kids, but he also loves his job & that's okay. He works hard to support our family & comes home & helps with everything, his daughters adore him & he is an amazing husband. Honestly this job was better for our marriage then I ever thought it could be. It brought us so much closer & improved our communication & really made us realize what we have with each other.

I just have to say, you're right. Not everyone understands the trucker/truckers wife lifestyle, but if it's the life you end up with it can be well worth it if you make it that way.

Jun 13, 2012
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grest post!!! NEW
by: Lindsey

I loved your post :-) thank you for making some great points!!! It is a special life we all lead!

Jun 13, 2012
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be thankful NEW
by: lisa

I agree with you, I just wrote a book on this very thing, it will soon be published.

Keep thanking him and letting him know you appreciate him and providing for the family.

Jun 12, 2012
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Great Post Suzy!! :) NEW
by: Helonwheels

I agree!! Life is what "we" make of it!! Keep it simple and things won't be so hard on us is the motto I live by.

Helonwheels :)

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