Kids having behavioral issues since he left to be a trucker

by Alley
(Iowa)

My husband and I have a 4 year old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter. They are both exceptionally bright, and have never had any sort of behavioral issues- until my husband left 2 months ago to be a truck driver.

Since then they have started hitting, having problems at school, crying ALL DAY and causing all kinds of problems. I've grounded them, thrown toys away, and we've been trying to do more fun stuff when they aren't having bad days as an attempt to reinforce the good behavior.

My husband doesn't get home time for another 2 weeks (it will be nearly 3 months since he left) and I'm just crying I'm so overwhelmed. I see my babies hurting and I don't know how to help them.

He drives overnight and sleeps during the day, so we only video chat once a week, for maybe 10 minutes.

I know someone out there has gone through this with small children and I'm praying someone can offer me some advice to help me and my kids get through this major adjustment in our lives.

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Nov 20, 2016
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a picture is worth a 1000 words
by: Anonymous

You need to keep Dad involved in everything even if he isn't physically present. I have 3 boys 7 and under and a baby girl just a few months old. Maybe it's hard to get a hold if him when he's busy but that doesn't mean you can't still send messages.

My boys will draw/color pictures specifically for Dad and then ask to take a picture of it to show him. A picture doing homework. Voice recordings saying good morning before they're off to school. Video recordings of them goofing off. And Dad will send them back when he has a chance.

A good morning recording waiting for them when they wake up. He sends pictures of where he is and what he is doing. We also share each other's location on Google so kids can check to see where he is now.

All of these things make their Dad seem closer than he really is.

Oct 14, 2016
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Kids behavioral issue
by: Ice_Mystic

Oh my this must be so incredibly difficult for you. I don't have children, so I'm just taking a shot in the dark here. You sound like a great parents, but it is difficult for anyone when their partner goes OTR and is absent from the home.

I don't know what you and your hubby have told the children about his job, so I'm wondering if maybe they just don't understand why Daddy is no longer home, perhaps they are reacting as they would with a divorce. They may think it's there fault (for no other reason then they're kids and think of weird things).

You don't really mention how you are handling the transition, which for every wife is difficult at times, perhaps they are picking up on your emotions. It is hard to tell with out more information, or knowing anything about you or the kids.

I do have some suggestions that I think might help, but I would suggest if possible, getting them some counseling through their pediatrician.

Okay, my humble suggestions - if it can be arranged, see if your hubby can take them for a ride in the truck,(not OTR,just like around the block) meet him at his yard and show them around, explain to them what he does and why he has to be gone for so long.

This may help them comprehend what is happening. Plus a ride in the truck is always cool. Show them some videos of truckers and their travels...You Tube is full of them, just be careful, some start out calm then get a little ummm vocal? if you know what I mean LOL

(2) See if you can hook up with other families in your area who's partner/hubby/wife are also OTR with kids, arrange some play dates, let them talk to other kids who's dad or mom are also gone, I think this would be beneficial for both you and the kids.

(3) I know you said hubby drives all night and sleeps all day, but maybe before he heads out for the night, once or twice a week, he can make a special call just to the children, it doesn't have to be a video call, just a phone call. If he wears a headset or goes hands free..I don't see why he can't call before his shift or while he's driving. Anything to make them feel Daddy hasn't forgotten them and they are special to him.

Like I said I don't have children, so I may be totally out of the park here. But I hope it may give you some ideas.

Good luck to you and your family.

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