Is She Just another driver?

by Shannon
(Richmond, VA)

My husband lost a great job 6 months after purchasing our dream home. He could not find a job, so went to school and received his CDL.


He was employed within a week and has been on the road ever since. We have been married 23 years, and I have worked full time all my life. We accumulated a lot of debt, mostly on my credit, trying to survive. We would have taken such a lost on our home if we had sold it.
I have " kept the home fire burning", taking care of everything. I haven't had a vacation in 10 years, sold jewelry, been a good and faithful wife, and gone through all my savings trying to keep us with a decent credit rating.

He comes home for @ 36 hours on the weekend, and like so many other wives/girlfriends, the calls home have become scarce.

Six weeks ago, He left his cell phone inside, and I heard it ringing, guessing it was from dispatch, I ran to answer it. I missed the call, and when I looked to see callers, I found a guy's name I had never heard him mention. There were a lot of calls between them. He tells me about all his buddies, and I have met several of them. When I asked about "Danny", he
told me, "Just another driver". I had copied the number down, and called it twice from other phones. Both times a woman answered.

I asked him to tell me about him. His description was vague. Tall, @ 57 years old, medium build, lived near Tennessee. I asked him If he was married, and he said he didn't know.

Let me say in 23 years of marriage, while I don't think he has ever had a physical affair, he has had some fun on the internet early in our marriage. This hurt me to the core, and he swore he wouldn't do it again. Right after he lost his job, and I'm at work, he started it again. This was 5 years ago. Again, I found out and told him I can't go through this again.

He cried, promised me that was the end of it, and vowed he loved me more than anything in this world, and didn't want to lose me.

I called dispatch a week after finding Danny's number, and asked to speak to him. They told me I must be looking for Danielle, but everyone called her Danny.

I know there are women drivers, and I had asked him if there were any in his company. He told me no, not in his group. When I told him him I found out "Danny" was a woman, he played it off telling me she was just another driver and didn't tell me because he knew I would be upset.

Guess what? yes, I am very upset. With his past history,I think I have every right to be.
We went in together on a cell phone plan in January, and when I requested the phone records, 3 and 1/2 months of calls showed he had been talking to her a lot. To be fair, he does talk to the guys for hours at a time, however, some mornings she was his first call, and at nights, his last. One night he called me @ 9:45 PM, talked to me @ 15 minutes, then called her and talked to her until 1:30 in the morning. Then his first call the next morning, was to her. He says all the guys kinda look out for her. He has even made reservations for her at TA's. He says she pays him back by leaving money for the reservation at dispatch, just like the guys.
No, it's not an every day first and last call, but there are several. Yes, he was parked the night the long conversation took place, not driving.

He barely finds time to call me, but yet, finds time to talk to her. Granted, it's not everyday, just when she is on the road. There have been days he hasn't had the time to call me, but yet, there were plenty of calls to her and everyone else.

This has caused a huge problem in our marriage. I have had several heartbreaking events this year, but yet he never has time to talk to me about them. When I asked him what did they talk about, he said her children, and trucking things. He couldn't remember any of the conversations. Just someone to talk to he says. He has time to listen to her life, but not his wife's? She has a boyfriend, who is a driver also, but he doesn't like to talk while driving. How convinent.

I am always the one doing the forgiving it seems, and his life continues on. He can justify anything. He said he was sorry, and said I was making way too much out of it and all would be fine when I realized this.

No, not this time. I can't get past his lying. I just don't trust him.

He now has his own cell phone bill, and says he doesn't talk to her anymore. Almost two years of talking to her, and he is going to abruptly stop? I don't think so. I asked him had she tried calling him, and he said no. However, she has asked the other truckers about him.

I can't sleep, having chest pains, and my emotions go from being hurt to being mad.

I would like to know how others feel about this.

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Feb 10, 2015
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is she just another driver NEW
by: Anonymous

No she is not just another driver to be blunt. Your first clue was the no call no show. When they emotionally and mentally mess with your emotions it infidelity wheather Physical or not. Disrespect and not Trust worthy. Sharing with another female and putting you on the back burner says it all. My husband after 5 months of marriage and at our age 50 plus and him being a driver of 30 plus yrs. I learned quick and hard it hurt so bad but its been 3 yrs being married and we are finally divorcing my husband doesnt just talk on phone he is team driving with this female he went behind my back with 3 yrs. Ago and did it a second time now they are full time. He believes the world believes it is strickly business I dont second quess my self anymore. A dirty old man is what it is...

Feb 10, 2015
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shannon: is she just a driver NEW
by: Anonymous

So sorry Shannon! I have the similar thing except my husband is team team deiver with this female I will call her to be nice. And my husband it was his choice. So my answer to you is no she is not just a driver. You need to put the missing pieces together and complete the emotional, mental infidelity puzzle and move on. I truley believe it will never change when the calls stop coming is your first clue that they are having to much fun behind your back. It's hard enough being truckers wife but when we give our all and they disrespect you and take total advantage of you its time to let them eat their words. I believe in Karma so dont but move on there are plenty of men that would love a woman ofnyour strengh and there are men you can trust after you get yourself back. You can do it and you deserve the best. Dont justify there actions it will make you crazy they your husband created to issue and over stepped his boundaries to you...

Feb 10, 2015
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shannon: is she just a driver NEW
by: Anonymous

So sorry Shannon! I have the similar thing except my husband is team team deiver with this female I will call her to be nice. And my husband it was his choice. So my answer to you is no she is not just a driver. You need to put the missing pieces together and complete the emotional, mental infidelity puzzle and move on. I truley believe it will never change when the calls stop coming is your first clue that they are having to much fun behind your back. It's hard enough being truckers wife but when we give our all and they disrespect you and take total advantage of you its time to let them eat their words. I believe in Karma so dont but move on there are plenty of men that would love a woman ofnyour strengh and there are men you can trust after you get yourself back. You can do it and you deserve the best. Dont justify there actions it will make you crazy they your husband created to issue and over stepped his boundaries to you...

Sep 15, 2014
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Therapist Oniha helped me to bring back my wife in just in 3 days NEW
by: Anonymous


I broke up with my wife last 5 months due to many misunderstandings i was fighting so hard to get her back. none of her friends would give me any information about her. The only thing I could do was to go find help from anywhere, so i looked for a way to get her back then a friend recommended me to contact Therapist Oniha of the
winexbackspell@gmail.com that he will help me and as my friend said, Therapist Oniha helped me to bring back my wife in just in 3 days, I now have her back and this is the biggest joy of my life oohhhh am so happy now with her forever.

Aug 13, 2014
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.... NEW
by: Anonymous

time to figure out what you are gonna do...this isn't the first time he fooled you and believe it or not it wont be his last...so you have choices you can sit around in pain and suffer or you can get up and do what ya gotta do for you...no one can really tell you what that is only you know...wipe off the tears, roll up your sleeves, and be the strong woman you have been all along and shut it down!! you will feel better after you have made the right choice for you.... good luck.

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