I feel like a single mother...again
The title pretty much tells it all. My husband and I have been married almost four years and have two babies together.
But before that, he had relationships that involves two children, and I also have two children from previous relationships.
Thats six children all together, but we aren't all together all the time. My husband had always dreamed of being a truck driver.
His father had driven trucks for thirty or so years, until he became an alcoholic and suffered strokes. Jason, my husband started driving almost right after we were married.
He promised to be home often and bring big bucks. Since then he has already been through several trucking companies, not because he likes to bounce but because recruiters will say almost anything to get him on board.
He gets into the company and the three days a week home turns into a couple days home every couple of weeks. Right now, he is with a pretty good company and things are better.
Jason runs to Cali and back every week and is usually home for two days. The pay is also better now but when we first started out he was only getting paid 500 per trip.
Take out child support, diapers, rent, and such, didn't leave us with much if anything to survive on for the following week.
He would often have to take out advances in his check to western union to me, which is such a hassle.
When the babies were little it was OK but still hard but they are older and really miss their daddy when he is gone, especially the boys. But they do love their daddy's big truck. LOL. Every big truck they see is daddy's. Thats all they talk about.
When Jason first started trucking, I would cry every time he left out. Sometimes I still do. Sometimes I like him being gone. I get the whole bed to myself, the tv, no picking up his dirty socks he likes to throw everywhere. But I miss him too.
It is much harder than I first thought it was. Its so hard to raise the kids with a part time dad. Its hard having to learn to do things I never before thought I would, like jumping the jeeps battery.
It's hard having to re-adjust our life at home when he is home. And then re-adjust it again when he leaves.
Its hard for me to stay emotionally close to him, when we pretty much have a long distance relationship. Its definitely a balance act.
I love him so much and I very much appreciate his support of his family. He knows its hard on me and the kids and tries to make up for it when he is here.
He definitely makes up for any lack of sleep, TV time, and you know what time he has missed out on while gone.