How do you do it?

by Shayna M.
(Conway, SC )

My partner, of 7 years, Trisha, left for training on Friday. I know I'm new, but I'm already feeling down about this whole thing.

I miss her so much, ALL the time. I feel like half a person just floating around. Things just don't go smoothly when it's just me.

I locked myself out of our house on Monday, forgot my ID and had to drive all the way back home to get it, and one of my tires was so flat that a random motorist honked at me to tell me. I feel frazzled.

We don't have any children, so I really give all you ladies (or gentlemen) props for holding down a whole family, basically on your own. But this is so weird for me.

I'm a nursing student and am not currently working, and I have 3 weeks of vacation in between semesters, but I'm afraid I'm going to run out of stuff to do when I'm on my own.This is the first time in my 23 years that I've had to live on my own.

We drew our bank account negative so that she could take money with her for the fees the school charged and we ended up having to pawn basically all of our possessions that were worth anything to get her some food money while she stays at the hotel, but that's almost gone now.

I have to ask my Grandma, who is trying to retire in a few months, for a loan for utilities until Trisha gets paid so I can get by. They say it'll be about 3 more weeks before she even sees any money.

All of my family lives in Michigan, and the only family I have down here are my in-laws who live about a 1/2 hour away (and who think I should be the one to come over all the time) I have a decent relationship with them, but it's not the same as having my family around.

I think as soon as we get some extra cash, I'm going to get a house phone set up. We live in the country and cell reception is awful. I have to go outside every time I need to make a call, and even then it's choppy.

I just want to be able to sit in our house and talk to her. Ideally, I wish she were home with me, but I know that's not happening.

When we were chatting about trucker stops last night, she mentioned that prostitutes hang around the stops and knock on random doors. That kind of caught me by surprise and I didn't really know what to say besides, "Eww. I don't like that at all."

Trust is not an issue in our relationship, but still. The idea of a nasty old prostitute knocking on my baby's door upsets me.

Most people can't tell she's a woman because she has short hair and wears men's clothes, but I'm still worried about her being out there all alone. I don't know how to voice this concern to her because she is strong and can take care of herself, but I keep thinking about horrible things that could happen.

On top of that, I have to worry about regular things, like bad weather, bad drivers etc.

All these companies say they value home time, but they are still a business and their first priority is to make money. CR England says the average trip is 3-4 weeks and they get about 3-4 days of home time per month. But that's just an AVERAGE. And I'm wondering if the money is even worth it?

Is the $1800-$2400 worth only being home for a total of 36 days- basically one month a year? Especially when after you take out our monthly expenses, and then add in how much money she will spend on food and whatever else on the road.

She's only planning on doing this until I finish nursing school next August, and then the plan is to put her through school, but I don't know if I can even handle a few months, let alone over a year.

Thanks for the vent.

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Jul 10, 2012
I'm with you girl NEW
by: Anonymous

My fiancé and love of my life Josh is leaving for CR England, the shoddy bastards, on Saturday. I've begged him not to. Women's intuition. I've read the reviews, done the math, moved in with his parents with my kid sister who we have custody of. It's scary, and being without pay for so long. Beg her not to lease a truck from them. And please tell me how her experience was. I wish you all the luck in the world and you can email me anytime at of you need to talk. I'm sure I'm going to need friends come Saturday.

May 14, 2012
Be strong! NEW
by: Anonymous

Oh honey, please believe me when I tell you that I feel your pain. When Jason first left for his training, I thought that I would die from the heartache. It was a physical pain in my chest. I cried for three days, even though we had made this decision together.

It's good that you have school to focus on; that will help. I'm a stay-at-home mom, and believe me when I tell you that there are times I think these four walls will make me crazy. But I also suffer from depression, so it's really hard to get up and get out sometimes. Still, I'm thinking about going back to school in the fall, and really looking forward to it.

Our job is not easy. We have to strike a balance between being supportive, worrying about our significant others, and trying to be strong and carry our own burdens without causing them to worry about us. Sometimes it can be pure hell. But we need to remember that stress can be just as dangerous to him/her as bad weather and bad drivers. Hard to drive a rig when your mind is somewhere else, say, worrying about your loved one(s) at home.

Definitely don't expect her to make that kind of money, especially right off the bat, and if the two of you have a plan, keep her eye on the ball. The trucking life has a way of getting a hold on them, and before you know it, three or four months turns into six or seven, and they're making excuses to stay on the road.

In the meantime, I'm here if you need to talk. Hang in there, girl!

May 06, 2012
Stay strong NEW
by: Anonymous

I am a truckers wife and its new to me also but the first thing I can tell you is to do some research if she's driving for CR England. They offered my husband a job and well we chose to run and are glad we did. He has talked to a number of their drivers out on the road and they are all miserable and broke and waiting for their minimum requirement to be up so they can get out of their. Unfortunately that's true for alot of companies out there who will take rookie drivers. You should really talk to her about how you feel and your concerns or it could cause problems down the road. Look at it this way most good reputable companies will start looking at you once you have 6 months experience and she could look elsewhere but do not stay at CR England and DON'T sign up for their lease program or you very well may lose everything. Research any and every company it's amazing the things you can find out with google. Pray and communicate communication will be a million dollar thing if your gonna make it. It's not easy. Me and my husband were married on Leap day this year and I haven't seen him in 2 months but that's because we made that choice for him to stay out when his training was complete and make some money and now he will come home in about a week for 4-5 days and then go back out again. We're making the sacrifice because we have 5 beautiful children to raise and that takes money and we have both been professional drivers for many years if it wasn't for the kids I'd be upgrading my license from a B to an A and driving with him.

May 02, 2012
keep a chin up NEW
by: Anonymous

I've been doing this for many years,,, all i can really say is don't expect that kind of money for one thing and remember you can't count on them being home alot. I see my husband for 2day ever 2 months. The money sucks and if it was'nt for me working my butt off sometimes he would'nt eat on the road. It a hard life to live and no its not worth it at times. I do wish you the very best.

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