How can I get him to go to the doctor?

by browncoat
(Portland, OR)

My boyfriend and I recently moved to Portland, OR together so that he could move from otr to regional.

For some context, we started dating in college 3 years ago. After graduation, we went back home (him in Maine, me in California). He started driving otr so we could see each other more often, 2 1/2 years ago.

He decided to join a flatbed company when we moved because he wanted to get some extra exercise in and break up his day a little more. The problem is, he was a collegiate football player and had sustained injuries in college prior to even starting driving.

Now that he's strapping and tarping most days of the week, his injuries are flaring up to the point where he's in constant pain, even on the weekends when he's home.

This is after 5 months of flatbedding. He's planning on leaving the company because of the pain he's in, but in the interim, he refuses to go see a doctor to get his injuries checked out.

We know that he's going to need surgery eventually, but I'm afraid that in this last month before he switches, he's going to injure himself even further, to the point where he won't be able to work at all.

I want him to at least see a doctor to find out what is going on with his injuries. He consistently tells me that either we can't afford it or that there isn't any time, since he's gone all week.

Does anyone have any advice as to how to get him to see that he's hurting us in the long run? His pain and exhaustion is taking its toll on our relationship, too. He's angry and grumpy because he hurts all the time, and I'm upset because I can't help him.

Thanks everyone!

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Jan 11, 2014
getting him to the Dr. NEW
by: Alexa

He could be avoiding going to the Dr. because of fear and anxiety. Fear because he may worry about the findings and anxiety because he may feel it could cost him some wages being down for whatever treatment or surgery. And you know (many) men....when they feel they are dependent for help and not a bread winner it totally drains their masculinity and self worth.

Communicate your concerns and help him to schedule an appt. You are correct, ignorance may cause bigger problems. Tell him one step at a time.

In the meantime, I am a firm believer in reflexology. My man had back surgery and a steel rod was inserted in part of his spinal chord. Through reflexology, he was able to come off all meds including pain killers. He is on the road all the time and I always spend time on his back when it starts flaring up.

For you, a few glasses of wine may help too. :)

Good luck!

Jan 11, 2014
...... NEW
by: Anonymous

to get anyone to do for themselves it has to be their own idea.....dont waste time beating your head against the door he is not going until he thinks he needs too....sorry just the way life is..

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