Home Alone....the grown up version

by Malia B.
(Easton, Pennsylvania)

Me and the hubby

Me and the hubby

HI everyone,

Hubby and I have been married for 6 years, together for 12. He recently (this week) went into trucking. He got his CDL a week ago and is now in the hire process/training with a truck company.

We are hoping after a year experience to find a local company or a local dedicated route.

He was formerly in the automotive industry. Got tired of taking the slack for other slackers and people wanting automotive repairs for practically nothing.

Initially, I thought this would be half sad and half excited. I was excited at the thought of having the house to myself. Eating what i want, when i want. Having control over the remote control and the radio volume.

HOwever this is day 2 and all i can do is cry every time i enter an empty room.

Growing up, I never wanted to be dependent on someone else. This new transition has made me realize how much i depend on my hubby and well now that compounds my sadness and mixed emotions.

I know that my hubby is doing what needs to be done. I am proud of his willingness to provide and work hard.

Here I am...online...looking for others who understand. So i can provide the partner/wife/friend that he needs to do his job.

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Dec 15, 2012
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Perspective... NEW
by: Melissa

I hear where all of you are coming from. I am a new truckers wife. I know about the lonely nights, the taking care of yourself when sick, being a loving supportive wife, and handywoman (in our case). But before we get caught up in the me me me me part we need to think about how he feels. I am guilty of the me me me thing. But when I try to put myself in his place it brings back the perspective. As hard as it is on us, it's just as hard if not harder of them. They are the ones that have to leave home, their wives, their children, leave all the things they should be doing that we as wives have to pick up and do. I am not trying to upset anyone but we need to think about them too, and remember that they are doing what they can to support us and make sure WE are taken care of. All they expect in return is understanding, support and love.
Try to talk to him at least once every day, it helps keep the relationship strong. My husband comes from a long line of truckers so I have a good support team and role models. I would suggest we all find support, there are many blogs where you can find other truckers wives that are willing to help you and teach you. I wish you all the best! And remember they say,the only thing tougher than a trucker is a truckers wife.

Nov 28, 2012
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thanks shari NEW
by: Malia

Thanks Shari for your encouraging words. =0)

Nov 28, 2012
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Give it a chance NEW
by: Shari

This is a totally new lifestyle for you and hubby and it is gonna be a major adjustment. My hubby drove OTR when our kids were little and I hated it. Then he got a job teaching Truckdriving at a Prison Unit. He was home everyday by 1PM and off weekends and all holidays...it was a wonderful job. A year ago the prison unit he worked at closed and now he is OTR again. The only good thing is our kids are grown now and I can go with him when I choose to. I go about half the time...sometimes I just need to stay home and get things done. But it still has been a big change for us. We both are trying to make the best of it...my hubby is over 50 now and truckdriving is one profession that doesn't discriminate due to age. Give this new lifestyle a chance...try to be supportative to your husband. There is alot to learn out there at first. Alot of new rules and regulations...electronic logs...It is hard for them being gone too. Dispatchers lie to them constantly...customers treat them like scum...traffic....long days....I know it is really hard being the one at home by yourself too! Just try being there for each other...talk on the phone alot...skype if you can. Try to keep that close relationship even when apart. Alot of couples grow distant and get used to doing their own thing and find it uncomfortable when hubby comes home. Don't make him feel like a stranger in his own home...make him want to come home. Good luck!

Nov 27, 2012
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lonley NEW
by: Anonymous

My trucker hubby just started otr again a year an a half ago. Now it's like he's an old friend who rolls into town every 2 weeks for a 2 day visit. I have to admit that I'm used to being alone now. I like sleeping with the bed all to myself. I'm used to him not being under foot n I hate having to pick up after him when he is home. I know I sound like a cold bitch but its like I don't even have a relationship anymore. He's never here for anything. If I'm sick I take care of myself. If something breaks at the house I fix it. I don't have a partner anymore. I didn't sign on for this n I never wanted to be a truckers wife. But times got tough n trucking pays well so he started driving over the road. He still calls everyday 10-12 times a day. Every morning to say good morning n every night to say goodnight. I try to be loving n supportive for him but I'm completely lonley and alone. The worth part is that he was only going to do it for a year to get caught up on bills but I don't see any end in sight. It's a hard life for both of you. I wi

Nov 27, 2012
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Hunter Sorry for your pain NEW
by: Anonymous

I hear you say that it sucks being in a relationship with a long distance driver. I wonder if this life is for you at all? I hope you can take this into consideration and find something you enjoy to do, so it will help outweigh the frustration of being with your trucker. I dont really know if I could live life upset a big percentage of the time so I commend you on your bravery. Try and remember you are the most important person right now and try to treat yourself good. God Bless

Nov 27, 2012
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worse pain ever NEW
by: Hunterfora

Its been 2 years since my husband been driving OTR. I still hate every minute of it. I feel it ruined my once trusting loving marriage. I'm alone all the time, when he is home he is cranky, tired and annoyed he has to share even the small time we have. I think he gets used to being alone, sleeping alone and even small conversation you get the rolled eyes.
If you complain you'll get he loves the job and don't ask for him to change. Local jobs are rare to find and my fantasy thoughts he will find one is gone. The lonely nights burn your soul. When your sick and he is not there it hurts. I heard from wife's who say stick by him well I have and I get this distant stranger now who visits. He acts different and hides his cell now from me. So his behavior makes me jumpy and suspicious. Please keep your relationship as open as you can but after years of this lonely crap , you'll either love it or hate it. If ya ever want to chat I'm here for all. Be well, Hunter

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