Be strong and hang in there!

by peggy

I'm married to a trucker (or in his words, "not a truck driver, but a car hauler"), to me, they're all the same. We've been married for 32 years, parents of 2, grandparents of 3. Out of those 32 years, you could say me and my husband have spent probably a total of 4 years together, the rest him being on the road.

Other then him bringing home the money, which I can say has been very little, for all of the time he's been gone, I've had to raise my 2 kids and all that goes along with that and maintaining our home. By the time he comes home, maybe every other weekend, he's so out of the loop and distant from us, that it's like he's not even there.

He's too tired to do anything around the house, he doesn't want to go out to dinner, because he's eaten in restaurants all week long (how nice for him) and forget doing anything else fun. You might think how stupid of me to stay in a marriage like this, but after a while you kinda get numb to it and it becomes a habit, one not easy to break.

My kids are grown with their own kids now, and lucky for me they are all around where I am, so my life is full. Just wish the man I married was here to enjoy the kids and grandkids, too. He's the one missing out on it all. So, to all of you wives who are married to a trucker, be sure you are strong and can handle a lot of time alone, it's going to be a long road ahead.

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Apr 15, 2011
car hauler..refrigerated freight relocation specialist
by: Anonymous

So the thing that really caught my attention was when you said he calls him self a car hauler...not a truck driver. My boyfriend, before we started dating, told me he was a refrigerated freight relocation specialist...I look back and just laugh. Yes its all the same.

Jan 16, 2011
Hanging in There
by: Hervy


I am glad you offer words of encouragement to the wives.

I am not so sure that you should just settle for what you say you are faced with now unless you are perfectly happy with it.

You said your life is full but you did also say that you wish the man you married was there to share.

I was wondered about 2 things.

1. Had you tried to get him to do marriage counseling. Many guys don't see how they don't measure up to your expectations in the relationship. For instance, even if you mention him being tired and not wanting to do anything when he gets home, it may not register as serious enough of an issue to him as it should.

2. Have you ever thought or tried to have a family meeting with your kids and talk to him about how he is not really being what you once knew him to be as a husband.

Just some thoughts.

Well one more thing. Is he eating a healthy diet and trying to get some exercise while on the road. If not, that might attribute to some of the tiredness.

Stay strong, and hand in there, but see what you can do to make things more like you expect them to be in a loving relationship if need be.

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