Anything I Do Is Never Enough
(Broken Arriw, OK, USA)
My boyfriend has been a truck driver all of his life. We met2 1/2 months ago. He fell head over heels in love with me. I am going through a divorced so I have kept my brakes on. He told me he loved me the first night we met and two weeks later began asking me to marry him on a daily basis.
I'm not ready for this yet. I love him and i told him so but I have been absolutely honest with him about not being ready to move in with him. it's too much to soon. He wants to take care of me and is very frustrated because he doesn't understand why.
When he's on the road he gets upset with me if I don't answer the phone or his texts. He says that I don't call him enough. Or if I do communicate I don't sound as in love as he is, I don't say I love you at the right time, I don't care, I'm not as passionate as he is...etc... I'm exhausted.
Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's been out for 2 1/2 days in which we have had numerous texts between the two of us, I've sent 2 videos, and there have been 16 calls logged...11 of which I did the calling.
Last night I couldn't get a hold of him for over an hour He finally said hello, I told him to call me if he needed me because it was late and he was still driving, he never called, an hour went by so I tried again, still nothing, so I told good night and I'd talk too him in the morning thinking he might be busy or already pulled over and sleeping.
I get a text that he's pulling into the yard and before I can text him back I get one that says, "what no I love you? no nothing?" I lost it. it doesn't matter what efforts I make its never enough. I'm at my wits end.
He doesn't want to understand that I'm not where he is emotionally yet and because he's pressuring me to be there its actually driving me away. Now it's 11am the next day and we still haven't talked. He pouts and I'm trying too help myself heal up from a horrible 8 yr marriage and I honestly don't have the mentally capacity or energy to help him when he pouts.
Is this normal amongst truck drivers because they are gone so very much and its nothing but them, the road and their thoughts for hours upon hours? it's 16 phone calls in 2 1/2 says not enough?
I love this man and he is absolutely golden. I want this to work. Help! : )