Better Relationships Over the Road

Listen To The Other Person

It's easy to get caught up in what we are doing and what we have going on. When first making contact with your significant other ask about his/her day and listen. You might hear stress or concerns that require empathy and understanding

If you overlook these ques and proceed to carry on with your on concerns the other person is simply not going to hear you anyway!

Don't Take It Personal

For sure there will be times when what you hear is not pleasing. Life is that way. If you have paid attention, you might realize what is behind the emotions or words spoken. Be mindful of that information. Often times, you shouldn't take words or the meaning of words literally or personally.

We all should watch what we say to a certain extent but sometimes people. Under the right circumstances some people have little or no control. Keep the personality of your spouse in mind, don't allow a misplaced word over ride the love and good will that you already know is there.

In fact you don't understand what is behind the attitude or words, you might need to ask some questions about it.

Note: From what I have read in the books....:-) The wrong question to ask is, "What is wrong with you?" A better question to ask is, "It seems you are very upset, what is bothering you"

Or something of that nature, you get the idea.

Don't Make Assumptions

You shouldn't make assumptions about whether your significant other knows how much you love him/her, you have to communicate it to him/her or a regular basis.

Also have a conversation, during a pleasant time, about what makes each of you feel loved. Don't start with your own needs. Ask him/her what makes him/her feel loved in the relationship.

You both may have come from very different backgrounds where what you learned expressing meant a certain behavior or actions and he/she learned that expressing means handling the person/relationship in a completely different way.

Well guess what neither of these might mean the same thing to the other person. The more of these ques that get confused, the more the other person will feel misunderstood, unloved, unwanted and unfilled.

It's easier to nurture the relationship now

With a little effort on keeping the relationship in great shape, you won't have to suffer some of the lows that many relations face and some never recover from.

Ideally both people would see value in improving their own skills in how they handle the relationship. However, sometimes both people won't see the need to focus on it.

This doesn't mean that if you have an awesome spouse,you can't improve on the relationship just by your own actions. Give it a shot and see how things turn out.

More Coming Next Month!

Thanks for taking the time. You will find more relationship advice on the site here.

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