37year old woman wanting to go OTR

When I was married previously it was to a truck driver. I was OTR with him for nearly 9 yrs on and off. I've now since separated and am now in another relationship going on 3 years now. He has 2 small children, both in school.

I had mentioned before that I could get my CDL and bring in more money, that we would be able to get out of our financial slump and get ahead. We've struggled financially the entire time we've been together. Nearly got evicted from our first home.

The kids are a handful, I won't lie. Ive not been able to work due to him not wanting to leave work to take care of anything involving the children. Ive sacrificed and I am yearning to get back out there but ON MY OWN, not with a partner..simply solo. I just want a good paying job.

I'm not getting any younger. Anything I can find around here just doesn't pay. We are barely paycheck to paycheck..Immediately after mentioning this he said, "that ain't gonna happen". So now i've looked into it again and am even trying to arrange a sitter so his job wont be affected.

What should I do? I feel like I'm being forced to live a certain life and not being able to move forward. Thanks..

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Aug 19, 2016
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My responses
by: Sarah

Well thanks so much for y'alls comments and especially the support.

I will try to respond to each message but this site's a little different from the truckers forum where one can respond to each individual message on a post. Not complaining lol!!

My bf and I have gotten into over all of these topics--childcare, who's responsibility is what, who feels burdened, so on and so forth.

Yes, I expected to be with this man for the rest of my life. I've known him since we were teenagers and reconnected a few years ago, after I got off the road and split from my ex.

Long story short, who one tries to be in the beginning of the relationship, eventually dies off into who they truly are once they are comfy. These kids have no mother. I obligated myself to be their mom and really thought this relationship would be till the end.

Funny thing is, EVERYONE I talk to about this, says the same things most of you are saying. So I'm getting the same response from those that know me personally and you guys. What should that tell me?

Pam has approved my application and wants me to contact them in regards to scheduling my physical etc. Prime is ready for me as well and told me to study the MO CDL handbook until I'm 100% ready. I've taken the practice tests and aced almost all of them. My lowest score is an 80 but I keep taking it until I get 100% :)

Swift is ready for me and CR ENGLAND. I've read up on all of them and I'm partial to Prime but of course, any advice y'all may have I will take into consideration. Swift makes me nervous cuz I just don't hear anything good about them for the most part but they are closer than Prime.

Jim Palmer said I didn't have enough experience to go through the training, that they're very picky who they choose to put through the program cuz they're a small company.

Anywho, hopefully I gave ya enough info and I appreciate your help greatly!

Aug 19, 2016
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In my humble opinion only
by: Ice_Mystic

Why is it that his kids are now your sole responsibility. Perhaps you should be discussing his lack of involvement with his children.

Personally, I think if your brave enough to get your CDL and go OTR. Girl, you need to think long and hard about a man who wants to keep you in the house, looking after his kids, while your not happy.

Find yourself another trucker, get your CDL, and go, go, go!

Good Luck, I hope to see you posting you just finished training soon.

Aug 18, 2016
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You mentioned it...
by: Anonymous

...quite obviously you are going to do it, either that or it's gonna eat at you til the end of time, but don't say that you are doing for the extra chump change.

OTR is a hell of a lot more than income related

Its a 360 on your lifestyle as you currently know it, and having done this before, you know you will have direct deposit and prob won't even look at your paychecks... at least not as a priority

You are gonna do it.

Do it already, because the one thing that the trucking industry is known for is its turnover rate, many, many companies sitting at 100%

So...

If you don't like it, you can always quit or go regional instead of OTR or possibly even Line Haul..

I know local won't suit you. Thats pretty easy to see.

So.. who ya gonna work for?

Aug 17, 2016
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You have to prioritize
by: Hervy

Tough choices.....

Well, I say you first have to really think about what you want out of life. Short and more importantly long term.

Are you in love with this guy and do you want a long term relationships with him?

Having said that. If the answer if yes to both, I was wondering about him, you and HIS kids. Are you two getting along and happy in the relationships or are you the baby sitter?

Because unless he is making enough money for yall not to struggle and you in particular since you actually want to work but he wants you not to, then seems like he should be open to other options.

However, if you do love him and yous guys are happy and he doesn't want you to go over the road, I will tell you like I tell the guys, it's not a good idea to leave if you all don't agree on it together. That's if you want the relationship.

You feel like you are forced to live a certain life because you are. But only you can decide what is more important to you.

Sounds like you two are building a future together. Has that been discussed or is it assumed and taken for granted. Because if you feel like you are sacrificing what you really want to do, you need to know for sure what it leads to. Is he having fun or sacrificing and is it for the relationships (and HIS kid) or for him (to get away from responsibility)?

A lot of women never ask the guy what the plans are for the future. If you haven't and your desire is for it is to be forever, then you need to make sure he is on the same page.

When you ask him what do he see for his future, make sure you are in it. If not, leave for trucking school next week! lol.

No really make sure yall on the same page with the relationship. If you are on the same page, see if you can come up with an agreement about how to proceed.

Well, thats my 2 cents, lol.

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